Love Life Coaching

Are You too Available for an Unavailable Guy?

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A friend of mine is crazy about this man she has been seeing for about six months. She has not seen much of him though, because he has many hobbies and interests and works a lot. She told me she wished that she could see more of him but understands that he has a high profile job and that his career is important to him.

When I asked her why she had not seen him for the last two weekends she told me he was hunting with his buddies out of state for one weekend and attending a sporting event the other weekend. I asked her if that was ok with her. She said it was because it was not like he was spending time with other women.

I asked her why she was trying to have a relationship with someone who is not available for one. She did not like that and tried to explain six ways from Sunday that he is just a very busy man, blah blah blah, and gives her what time he has, blah blah blah and then it was my turn. I asked her, point-blank: He has shown you he doesn’t have time for you, and therefore does not have time for a relationship with you, so wtf are you two doing?

emotionally unavailable guy

Are You too Available for an Unavailable Guy?

I then went on to explain to her that because he was so unavailable physically he would never become emotionally available either. She was in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man. She told me that when he does have time to talk or see her, she makes the time to talk or see him. I asked her why the hell she did that and she said “because I am not as busy as he is”. I told her to stop being too available for an unavailable guy.

I asked her about their dates. How many times have they gone out to eat? She said he usually comes over at the last-minute and they either order something in or skip it all together. I asked her why she is available for him to come over to her house whenever the mood strikes him when he can’t find time to take her out for a meal? I asked her if he had starved to death recently. She said no. So I said “Well, then he has time to eat, just no time to eat with YOU”.

I asked her if he was able to attend that party with her last month and she said no, he had to work. I knew the party was at night, and when I asked her if he worked all night she said no, he just had to get up early in the morning for work the next day (Saturday). I asked her if she would have gone to the party if he had asked her and if she had to work the next day. She said yes. Again, she is willing to find the time for him, but he will not for her. She is too available for an unavailable guy.

He should want to see you, know what is going on in your life, and be there for you when you need him. If the man in your life has time for his job, hobbies, family, television shows, sports and god knows what else, if you are important to him, he will have time for you too. You are willing to take time away from your job, hobbies, family, television shows, sports and god knows what else to make time for him but he won’t do it for you. You are too available for an unavailable man. He makes time to do what he wants. Spending time with you should be what he wants as well. Who wants to play second, third, fourth or fifth fiddle? Why the hell should you? Don’t accept that he is too busy. Don’t revolve your life around his crumbs of free time. Find a man who makes time for you, and makes you a bigger priority and be available to him.


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Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

1 Comment

  1. Ingrid

    March 20, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    Why do I keep finding emotionally unavailable men? It seems that is all I run into these days

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