Love Life Coaching

Do You Want Him Back, or Do You Just Want to Get Back at Him?

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Do you really want him back? Sometimes instead of getting closure and moving on, we may be plotting, planning, wondering and/or hoping that we can get him back. Some people can do this for months, even years. If you find yourself in a situation where your main objective is to get him (or her) back, ask yourself do you really want him back, or do you just want to get back at him?

If you really feel the relationship has potential and that on a whole the relationship was a good one, it is understandable that you would put dating on hold to see if there is a reconciliation coming. Be honest with yourself concerning your ex and the relationship. Don’t focus so much on the potential it had if big changes had to be made, but more so on if it had potential should nothing change. Look at how your relationship was vs how it could be. How it was is most likely how it will be in the future. Especially if it is not you who needs to make most of the changes. Then decide from that point if you do indeed want him back.

getting back at him revenge

Do You Want Him Back, or do You Just Want to Get Back At Him?

But what if you are just doing this to get back at him? If you are putting your love life on hold because you want him back, is it really worth it? If you just want to get back at him for dumping you or the mean things he did keep in mind that you are postponing your own healing from this relationship. Do you want to sink to their level, or take the high road? Which way of getting back at him is better?

Think about it, if you do something mean back to him, he won’t regret that it is over. However, if you get your closure and begin a new relationship that is positive and healthy and you are happy, it is more likely he will regret his mistake. What you get out of it taking that path is putting that relationship behind you and the chance at finding a new wonderful relationship. If you choose to get back at him instead, all you get is spending more of your time dealing with him and doing something you may not feel proud of in the end.

 And remember, if you get him back, you will most likely get back all the problems you had before and some new ones too. If you did everything you could to make things better in the past and it did not work, why do you want so badly to try, yet again, to fix something that you obviously cannot. Ask yourself truthfully, were you happy in that relationship? If you were actually happy, and not constantly chasing happiness or waiting for it to come, then perhaps it is worth another shot. But, at the same token, if on a whole it was mostly bad, it is in your best interest to find a new relationship to build, rather than try and fix a badly broken one.

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Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

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