Love Life Coaching

Dwelling on Past Relationships

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Dwelling on past relationships is not really a smart thing to do. It only works if you are looking back on your past relationships to change your behaviors going forward but even that shouldn’t take that much time so you resort to dwelling.


Dwelling on Past Relationships

Dwelling on Past Relationships

Some of the blog comments I have read have really shocked me. People have described relationships with tons of red flags and problems right from the get go in detail. Then they mention how the relationship is over, but want to know what they should do now? They wonder if their ex’s new relationship is going to work. They wonder if their ex is coming back, and should they take them back. They seem to know an awful lot about their ex’s current situation and life even though they are no longer a part of their life.


This is the dwelling on past relationships that is really the big time waster. You already wasted enough time with this loser that lied, cheated, did you wrong, and hurt you. How much more do you need to think about this? What is there to dwell about? You want another chance with this idiot so they can do it to you again, even worse this time? Why? And please don’t say “Because I love him.” Get over it. Get past it. Learn to let go of someone who didn’t deserve your love so you can be capable of giving it to someone else.


If you can love an idiot like that, please don’t make me try to believe you couldn’t love someone who actually treated you with love and respect. You can. There are billions of people on earth, stop dwelling on your past relationships and give a new one a chance. Your ex has had enough chances already, and chances are it is just going to end in disaster anyway. If they really loved you they wouldn’t have done this to you. Accept that. If they were really a good person they wouldn’t have done what they did. Accept that too. So instead of daydreaming about the good times, accept the reality of your past relationship. You have been used, abused, manipulated and tossed aside. Again, why dwell on this? There has to be better than this kind of treatment out there. Being single is a hell of a lot better than being with a waste of space like that.


Don’t dwell on their new life, or their new girlfriend. Instead, be glad he is out of your life and unable to mistreat you anymore. What happened to you will more than likely happen to her, so instead of feeling jealous of her, wish her well. She is going to need all the luck she can get. She isn’t a winner, because how can you be a winner if your prize is being with a loser? It’s impossible.


Think outside the box that dwelling on a past relationship has put you in. It doesn’t matter why they did what they did or what they were thinking or feeling when they did it. What matters is that they did it, because they are not the wonderful person you pretend they are. Don’t let them keep you hanging waiting to see what happens between them and the new person in their life, or if they come back to you. Look at the opportunity you have to put this behind you and find something better. You may believe you love them, but think about how much you could love someone else that loves you back. Someone who doesn’t lie, is willing to commit, doesn’t break up with you out of the blue, doesn’t leave you for an ex, doesn’t cheat, and isn’t a loser. Trust me, you can love them just as much if not more than the guys from your past relationships.

Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.


  1. Lb

    November 4, 2017 at 10:20 pm

    “how can you be a winner when your prize is being with a loser?” LOL. That was great. Y’all are awesome.

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