Love Life Coaching

Good Excuse or Lame Excuse in Relationships

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People think there is always a good excuse for everything. In our relationships we should be able to tell the difference between a good excuse from a lame excuse. If the one you love is currently in a Turkish prison, they may have the holy grail of excuses. If they are not currently serving time in a Turkish prison, they may have no valid excuse at all.

Let’s take contact and communication for our first example. There is email, instant messages, text, home phones, and cell phones. What could possibly be a good reason for not being in touch with you for an extended period of time if you are in a relationship? Being stressed, or busy is not a good enough excuse for not contacting you for a week or longer(unless they are in Turkey).

Even if their closest relative went into the hospital they could still send you a text saying “So and so is in the hospital, will contact you when I can”. So why would you excuse this behavior when their excuse sucks? Sure, we all may lose track of time and not contact someone for a day. But who, without a severe head injury, would lose track of time for days or weeks on end? Losing track of time for more than 24 hours is not a good excuse, unless of course you are in a Turkish prison. See how awesome that excuse is?

Relationship Excuses

Good Excuse or Lame Excuse in Relationships

Now what about someone who uses the excuse of not knowing what they want, or not being ready for a relationship? Neither of those are a good excuse not to be in a relationship with you. Of course they know what they want. Do they know if they want sprinkles on their ice cream cone? Sure. Do they know what movie they want to see? Yes. But they don’t know what they want as far as you are concerned? Bullshit. They know what they want, and what they w

And as for not being ready to be in a relationship? To a certain degree, that may be true. But what will it take for them to be ready? 8 hours of sleep? Training beforehand like you would if you were an athlete? What are they doing to get ready and why the hell should you wait around until they are ready? What excuse are you giving yourself for attempting a relationship with someone who isn’t ready for one? It isn’t a good excuse, that’s for sure. Why would you get into a sexual relationship with someone who isn’t ready for a relationship on any other level? If your excuse is that you only want a sexual relationship, then good for you because you have the only excuse that could make sense. Any other excuses would not make logical sense and is probably why you are miserable.

Sometimes people will use what they think is a good excuse instead of apologizing. When someone has done something wrong to hurt you, the excuse may take away some of the sting. It may also give you more understanding so you don’t take it personally. However, without the apology to go with it, many people feel the person has no remorse. They don’t feel the person is really sorry. So, an excuse, no matter how good it is, does not take the place of an apology. It is much better if they go hand in hand.

And always remember, just because you have a good excuse, that doesn’t mean the other person will excuse you. They may just DUMP YOU. It is time to only make excuses for good excuses. It is also time to give consequences to those that are only providing bad excuses. It may be the only way to change the dynamic of your relationship. Otherwise, it will just be one excuse after another after another.

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Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

2 Comments

  1. Christopher

    July 10, 2016 at 4:27 am

    who in a serious relationship though would lose track of time that they couldn’t message their partner for a whole day, especially if they have been seen online of Whatsapp or Facebook? That happened to me with my ex before I had enough of the excuses about lame apologies the next day about being really busy at something. These days everyone uses social media at least once a day, no matter how busy they are, so there’s no excuse anymore for not even saying hi to your partner for an entire day.

    • Sarah Adelle

      Sarah Adelle

      July 10, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      I agree, however, who in their right mind would settle for only a message? A message is lame too. If they can’t take the time to call you and speak to you, no one should accept being “messaged”. Texting does NOT replace an actual conversation.

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