Love Life Coaching

Have You Given Them Too Many Chances?

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Have you given them too many chances and they wasted every single one of them? Are you at a place where you are trying to decide whether or not to give someone another chance? Exactly how many chances is too many chances? It has been instilled in many of us that people deserve a second chance. While that may be true in some cases, it does not mean you should give people too many chances. If someone has cheated on you one time, and you want to give them a second chance, that is up to you. But if they cheat on you again and again, chances are they are always going to cheat on you. When you give someone a chance, what you are really doing is giving them an opportunity to make you happy or to hurt you.

Have You Given Then Too Many Chances?

Have You Given Then Too Many Chances?

You shouldn’t take reckless chances with your heart. If someone truly deserves another chance, especially if they rarely screw up, that makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is to give too many chances to someone who keeps hurting you repeatedly. We like to think that our friends, family, and romantic partners would do everything in their power not to hurt us. We believe that if we wouldn’t hurt them, we should count on them not to hurt us. That is not always true.

We want to believe the people in our lives think like us and behave like us. We believe they are as loyal and trustworthy as we are. And that if we wouldn’t do something like that to them, they wouldn’t do it to us. It is when we realize the people in our lives are not like us, and are capable of hurting us in ways we would never hurt them, that we get really hurt. Just because someone is a family member does not mean you have to keep giving them a chance to change. You keep putting your emotions on the chopping block every time you do, and if the odds are not in your favor, don’t gamble with your feelings.

The same holds true with friends. You may be a great friend. There may come a day when you find out some people you thought were your friends don’t have the same description of what a friend really is. Sometimes it takes a long time for the right circumstances to occur for that information to reveal itself. You may wind up being friends with someone for many years before you find out just how good a friend they really are. Now of course you should give your friend another chance if there was no ill intent behind their actions or behaviors. But don’t give them too many chances to have you as a friend when you really do not have a friend in them.

In romantic relationships you don’t want to dole out too many chances to someone undeserving of them. No matter how much you love someone, you shouldn’t let them hurt you over and over again. How many times will you let them break up with you for no good reason? How many times will you give them another chance at cheating on you or lying to you? How many times will you have to say the same thing over and over again to no avail? You may hope they will change, but you must live in reality. If the reality of your relationship is that you are doing all the work and they are doing all the screwing up, chances are your relationship is only going to get worse, not better.

Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

1 Comment

  1. ugh_myself

    August 12, 2017 at 12:04 am

    I wish I would have read this 3 years ago or at least stuck to my gut. Now I cant take hearing cliches about forgiveness, I’m bitter, closed off, insecure and still stuck in the same relationship.

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