Love Life Coaching

His Ex-Wife Causing Drama?

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Most of us have heard of the movie The First Wives Club. The movie was very sympathetic towards first wives because of how they were treated by their ex husbands. Each ex-wife then got revenge on her ex husband in different ways. But how is it for second wives? Or the girlfriends after the ex-wife? Is is not always how it plays out in the movies.

Secondly, wives or girlfriends after the divorce have had it rough too. Ex wives sometimes have boundary issues. They were used to having a man in their life to do “man things”. Just because they are no longer married does not always mean she won’t call upon him as if he is still the man in her life. She may say it’s for the good of their children, if they have any. But in truth, his ex-wife needs to learn to live without him. He can’t be the man in your life and the man in his ex-wife’s life. That simply won’t work out. It is hard to set new boundaries when old ones have been in place for so long. Many divorced men don’t realize the importance of setting and enforcing new boundaries with their ex-wife.
His Ex-Wife Causing Drama?

His Ex-Wife Causing Drama?

Examples of Ex-wife Drama

      1. Does his ex-wife use the kids to sabotage your plans? Does she call up last-minute and expect you both to drop your plans because she suddenly has some of her own? Now it is one thing if a family member went in for emergency surgery to the hospital. Suck it up and take the kids. But for her to just want go to the movies or on a date of her own? Nope. Nice try. Although he may feel guilty about not being there for his kids, it is not about not being there for his kids. He has his visitation time that he gives to his kids. You already work around that. He does not have to work around her social calendar or give in to her every whim. Her time with the kids is her responsibility, not his or yours. If you all had a respectful relationship, flexibility can be fine. But if you don’t, his ex-wife is just doing this for the sake of drama and to cause trouble.
      2. Money is another way an ex-wife may try to stir up the drama. Even though the divorce has been settled and she gets alimony or child support, she may not be happy with what she has. She may have spent all her money and still feels he owes her more or should come to her rescue.
      3. Court is another way for an ex-wife to cause drama. Taking someone to court is necessary sometimes. But when an ex-wife takes her ex husband to court for every little thing, it gets ridiculous. Some people can’t work out anything unless the court irons it out for them. But people should at least try. Making mountains out of mole hills just because you can isn’t right. It is a waste of the courts time and everyone else’s.
      4. Has his ex-wife tried to turn his children, friends, family and even co workers against you? It is hard when his family still has a good relationship with the ex-wife if she is trying to cause friction with you. They want to maintain a good relationship with the mother of their grandchildren, and they have a history with her that you don’t have.
As long as the man in your life does not let his family, friends or kids treat you disrespectfully, things should be ok. It is up to him to stand up for you, so don’t sink to anyone else’s level. Let him handle it. If he doesn’t, take it up with him. The same goes with any drama his ex wife may be trying to cause. Let him handle it his way at first. Stay out of it. However, if his way doesn’t work, you need to come up with another way. Don’t wait for her to decide to change her ways, change how you deal with her instead.

 

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Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

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