Love Life Coaching

Is Your Relationship Unstable? Top 10 Signs Your Relationship is Unstable

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When a relationship is unstable, there is the constant threat it may end. The foundation all relationships are built upon need to be strong and resilient against the common issues and obstacles faced by couples. Without a strong foundation, it is easy for the relationship to collapse under pressure.

In unstable relationships there is a constant undertone of drama. We all know that relationships can go through a rough patch when life throws one thing after another in our path. We cannot avoid that. What we can avoid is the constant contribution that we make as individuals that cause our relationship to be unstable.

Top 10 Signs Your relationship is Unstable

1. Many relationships are unstable because disagreements almost always are quick to escalate. What could easily be blown off by biting your tongue and keeping your mouth shut, turns to World War 3. There is no such thing as a minor disagreement, it always winds up being an epic battle. You could be disagreeing about the color to paint the living room and wind up bringing up old issues, begin name calling, and getting very heated. No couple is going to agree all the time, but how you as a couple handle your disagreements is key to keeping your relationship from being unstable.

2. If you, or the one you love, are always thinking of worst case scenarios, your relationship can become unstable. Why always go for worst case scenario? Why violate the one you loves privacy and read their texts, emails and everything else to ease the fearful thoughts you keep making up in your head? If you constantly worry about what they are up to and keep yourself in a negative mind-set, how can the relationship ever really be stable? Your mind won’t allow it to be, even if reality is showing you there is nothing to prove your theories.

3. If your relationship is filled with constant threats and break ups, your relationship is unstable. You are supposed to end a relationship when you a ready to end it for good, not just as a tactic to use when fighting. Not having enough respect for your partner, or the relationship and ending it for stupid reasons, or just to cause unnecessary drama, will never give you a stable relationship. It is a very dangerous sign of an unstable relationship, if you or your partner threaten yourselves, or each other, with personal bodily harm.

is your relationship unstable

Is Your Relationship Unstable?

4. On/off relationships will always be unstable. The pattern needs to be broken, or there is pretty much no way this relationship stands of chance of being healthy and positive.

5. If you or your partner are always having to prove love or trust, even though you have done nothing wrong, keeps your relationship unstable. If they have done something legitimate to break your trust or give you a valid reason for questioning their feelings, that is one thing. But even in that case, if you are giving them a genuine chance to earn back your trust, as opposed to getting revenge or punishing them, it should only take a reasonable amount of time before you have to let go of this behavior. Unless trust is given, how can the relationship be stable? It cannot. Unless you both believe each other’s feelings, how can the relationship be stable? It cannot.

6. Waiting for the shoe to drop is another way relationships remain unstable. If you cannot enjoy the good times and are always anticipating the bad ones, you cannot get a strong relationship foundation because you don’t believe it is strong.

7. If one, or both of you, feels the need to resort to creating drama for whatever unhealthy reason, you weaken your relationship every single time you play your role of drama queen or drama king.

8. If either of you drags out fights, even when they are minimal, they are keeping your relationship unstable. No one who wants a healthy relationship should resort to childish behavior. Sure, you have a right to get mad, but no right to ignore someone, or give them the cold shoulder, for a long time because of a simple misunderstanding. You should allow them to apologize, and you should want to heal and work through the issues. Holding a grudge, or dragging it out, doesn’t resolve anything.

9. Always having to win and be right is done at the expense of the stability of the relationship. You shouldn’t expect to win every argument and be right all the time. Spending too much time and energy on “winning” is not a great way to strengthen a relationship, it only weakens it.

10. Going for the jugular when fighting and arguing is a major sign of an unstable relationship. There is no good reason to want to hurt your partner as much as you possibly can for every little thing you perceive they do wrong. When you decide you need to inflict as much pain as possible when you are upset, angry or jealous, realize that pain hurt your partner and the relationship as well and causes a lot of damage. Often people will inflict the next blow before their partner has had time to heal from the last one.

Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

1 Comment

  1. Denise

    February 1, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    Very informative, thanks!

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