Love Life Coaching

Love is Not a Cure For a Dysfunctional Relationship

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Many people believe that love conquers all, and that if someone really loves you, they will always treat you lovingly. Both of these statements are not always true, and more often than not, they are wrong.


If you want to fix a dysfunctional relationship, first you must become sane. A dysfunctional relationship makes the people in it behave in an insane manner. Logic, reason, boundaries, respect, etc. go out the window. Games, abuse, disrespect and melodrama become the norm. The first thing you must do is pull your emotions back. Way, way back. Loving someone at the expense of yourself and your dignity will never fix a dysfunctional relationship, but putting your foot down and not sinking to their level is a good start to getting things on track.

dysfunctional relationships

Love is Not a Cure For a Dysfunctional Relationship


Go back to the woman you used to be before this relationship. Did you have boundaries that you would not let anyone cross? Well, put those boundaries back and prepare to do something when they are crossed, and stop letting him get away with crossing them. If you would never tolerate “x,y, and z” from anyone before, you need to stop tolerating it from HIM, and you need to stop right now.


Did you always resort to playing amateur detective, or did you used to get rid of men that lied to you all the time, cheated repeatedly, or you couldn’t trust? Well, it is time to get rid of this man too. Are you sharing a man with another woman? It is time to tell him you do not share, and until he can choose you alone, he needs to leave you alone until he can and will.


Do you break up every five minutes for the stupidest things? Do your fights escalate instead of being resolved? Is everyone you know sick of the constant drama in your relationship? Well, you should be too, and should no longer behave that way, and no longer deal with a man who does. Does the man you love never communicate with you? Do you talk mostly by text, or never know when he is going to contact you next? Since when did you become someone who deserves so little when you give so much? Time to make him wonder when YOU will ever communicate with him again.


You know right from wrong, and instead of making excuses for allowing someone to treat you wrong, it is time for you to stand up for what is right. The only way for a dysfunctional relationship to get better is for YOU to make it better, and not by being more loving to them, but more loving to YOURSELF.
Treat yourself right, and others will too.

 

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Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

2 Comments

  1. TAMMI

    August 15, 2016 at 9:10 pm

    I have been in a relationship for over a year now with a man that is a “CROSSDRESSER”. When he first shared it with me, I was in total shock! I honestly thought that I could except this and be supportive to him, as he claimed that it has always been a problem with other relationships. We are not young adults, just experimenting, he is 56 and I am 52, just coming out of a 30 year marriage. The problem that I have with this and him, is how he goes about it when he gets thr urge to do it. It is not a big secret between us, but he just dissapears for SEVERAL hours, not answering his phone or texts. We could have plans to meet the PRESIDENT and he just leaves me hanging. He had no reason to have to be secretive, because I dont have a problem with him doing it, it is just how he goes about DOING IT! He gets upset with me afterwards, because I am pissed at him for leaving me hanging. The last time, it turned out that we are no lomger seeing each other because of his actions, not only envolving me, but my two young granddaughters, too! “HE”got off work and called and ask them out to lunch. He comes over and runs to pay my water bill, which should have only taken 20 minutes or so and NEVER comes back! So, of corse i am VERY, VERY UPSET with him, as you can imagine. He shows up after being gone since 11 am, at 11pm! Just like nothing has happened! He then gets pissed and leaves, because i am VERY VERY UPSET with him. That was almost “4” weeks ago. On his way home he was texting me HOW VERY VERY SORRY he was, how much he loves me and he did NOT mean to do that to my granddaughters (which idolize and adore him). I wouldn’t reply to him because as I told him im the past, I WILL NOT DISCUSS STUFF WHEN WE ARE IN THE MIST OF AN ARGUREMENT, because you say mean things when your fighting. He knows that about me and thinks that is a very mature way to settle disagreements! Needless to say, his last text to me that night was, “DO NOT CALL, TEXT OR CONTACT ME ANYMORE”! I am trying to be open minded, and I can’t discuss this with anyone, of corse, but am I at fault about the way I handled this?

    • Sarah Adelle

      Sarah Adelle

      August 15, 2016 at 9:13 pm

      Nope. He is disrespecting you big time, and you should not be tolerating this at all.

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