Love Life Coaching

Valentine’s Day: Does it Mean Squat?

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Here we go again… the television has all these cutesy-wootsey commercials with a guy and his son picking out a gift for his wife on Valentine’s day. She gets her gift, kisses her husband and the precocious child let’s the teary eyed Mom know they helped pick it out. Awwwwwwwwww.

For the rest of the world, without central casting and a script, Valentine’s day is not always so picture perfect. The reality is, if you have a relationship that is good almost every day, and your partner treats you well almost every day, Valentine’s Day may very well mean something.

However, if the man in your life treats you like shit, ignores you, manipulates you, and basically makes life suck 364 days a year, that one day doesn’t mean bubbkus. He can bring you flowers, candy or you can go out to dinner, but what about the rest of the year? Why do women put such value on one day of the year and ignore the rest of it? 

Valentine's Day: Does it Really Mean Squat?

Valentine’s Day: Does it Really Mean Squat?

I have heard how pissed some women are going to be if he doesn’t get them something or do something on Valentine’s Day (or God forbid, forgets it). If your relationship sucks daily, who cares about that one day? Shouldn’t you be more focused on your daily life and the relationship than one day a year? I understand we want to be shown on that day that we are special to the one we love, but if he only shows it on Valentine’s Day, it is time to rethink the whole thing and put it into proper perspective.

A woman I was talking to is involved in an affair with a married man. She was pissed that he could not spend Valentine’s Day with her and she was trying to figure out a way they could celebrate it. I was stunned. First and foremost, he is celebrating Valentine’s day with his wife. HIS WIFE. Do I need to go on? This women feels that if he spends Valentine’s Day with her, and not his wife, it proves something? Are you kidding me? If he really loved her, he would divorce his wife, and be with her, not to celebrate Valentine’s Day with her! And as for the wife, I don’t give a shit how much candy, flowers and jewelry she may get, she still has a cheating husband who is scum. So does Valentine’s Day really mean shit to either one of these women? It shouldn’t.


If you have a wonderful man in your life yet for some reason (a good one, like work demands, illness, etc) he cannot be with you for Valentine’s day, sure, be disappointed…but DON’T act out. Don’t make it a big deal that someone who is always good to you and there for you couldn’t on February 14th. That one day doesn’t mean squat compared to what you have the rest of the year. Again, it is not about the one day a year, but the sum of all days when it comes to a relationship.

I have heard from some women that are in friends with benefits or booty call relationships where they have no commitment and are being used for sex. They also want to know if they will see him on Valentine’s Day. Why? If he doesn’t show up, what did you expect? You are not his girlfriend, you are a sex partner. If he does show up, again, who cares? You are not his girlfriend, you are a sex partner. Valentines Day won’t change your status, so don’t read into it.

If he never has time for you, and you are making a big deal that he see you on Valentine’s Day, you are wasting your time. He has no time for you, and no time for the relationship. So who cares about Valentine’s Day and whether or not he will see you? Will it change all of last year or the upcoming year? No. Look for a man who has time for you, and stop wasting time with a man who does not.

Valentine’s Day is a way of showing the people who are special to us that we appreciate and value them. Some people who are not romantic by nature use this day as their way to show their romantic side. That is all good, but we cannot ignore what our relationship was on February 13th and what it will be like on February 15th.


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Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

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