Love Life Coaching

Why Are Relationships So Complicated: Part 2

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Last week discussed why relationships are so complicated, here is the remainder of that article.

If you can’t clear the air or make amends after an argument, the argument never truly ends and you wind up having the same argument constantly and continually. Constantly dredging up past arguments never allows you to clear the air and move forward with your relationship.

If you are in a rebound relationship and the person has not had enough time to get closure, things will get complicated. If they haven’t had time to deal with their past, they are not prepared to deal with a future with you. Since they are not prepared, your relationship will suffer. When their ex makes contact or moves on to another relationship they may withdraw from you. They may decide to get back with their ex. They will tell you they are confused, or don’t know what they want. When someone has not had the time to get over their ex, they are not really emotionally available to you, regardless of what they say or do. It is a good idea to allow a reasonable amount of time for them to get over their ex before you begin a relationship with them. You may be afraid they will find someone else if you don’t act now, but that is more than likely not the case. Be friends with them, spend time with them, just take things super slow. Doing that allows them to distance themselves emotionally from their ex and slowly build emotions for you. Feelings are only as complicated as we make them.

Why Are Relationships So Complicated

Why Are Relationships So Complicated?

If your relationship involves more than one person, chances are it is going to be complicated. If you started a relationship with someone who is not single, you should expect it to be very complicated. You are sharing his time, energy, communication, love and intimacy with another person. It is reasonable to expect you won’t be getting enough of him to satisfy you, or vise versa if you are the one who isn’t single. Resentments and negativity will build, and it is only a matter of time before the arguments and ultimatums show up. When you have no real status in a relationship, it is really hard to feel important. When you don’t feel important, you feel depressed, bitter, angry and hurt, which can negatively impact your self-esteem.

If you break up and get back together all the time, your relationship is definitely complicated. When your status changes constantly and continually it is hard to move a relationship forward in a positive way. The relationship goes backwards and gets worse and worse. What complicates relationships like this is the issues and fears that grow from this dynamic. Relationships like this lack a foundation for important things like trust and security to grow. Without them the only thing that does grow are the complications. And when complications grow, relationships spin out of control.

If you break up and get back together all the time, your relationship is definitely complicated. When your status changes constantly and continually it is hard to move a relationship forward in a positive way. The relationship goes backwards and gets worse and worse. What complicates relationships like this is the issues and fears that grow from this dynamic. Relationships like this lack a foundation for important things like trust and security to grow. Without them the only thing that does grow are the complications. And when complications grow, relationships spin out of control.

Family can make relationships really complicated. Especially if ones family is a dysfunctional family. If your relationship is not respected by family members, it is going to get complicated fast. It is up to each of us to set the rules with our family and make them abide by those rules. Our families should not stick their nose into our relationship unless their opinion is asked. They should expect repercussions if they do not behave well. What often happens though is too many people let their family members get away with relationship murder. They do not stand up for their partner and pull away from their family when needed. They think their partner should suck it up. Wrong. We all want our loved ones to get along, and although that may not always be possible, we should be willing to try. We also need to stop allowing our families to make our relationship decisions for us. We are adults, we know what makes us happy and what we want out of life. Standing up to your family is an empowering rite of passage. If your family is concerned because you are in a toxic relationship or abusive relationship, that is another thing all together.

Why Are Relationships So Complicated

Why Are Relationships So Complicated?

Our jobs, career and finances can negatively affect our relationships and complicate matters. Don’t get into business deals or loan money to someone you are in a romantic relationship with. You are not a bank and it is not your job. Help them if you can, but not at your own expense. Make sure all loans, business deals and financial matters are handled in writing. It may not sound romantic but that piece of paper spells things out very clearly and both parties will know what is expected of them. It can actually save a relationship. When you handle money and business dealings in a business-like way, it’s simple, not complicated. Complications come because those dealings are dealt with in an emotional way.

There really are so many ways to complicate a relationship. Life itself can throw curve balls at you, you don’t need to get involved with drama queens and kings that invent them out of nothing. Each couple has to deal with their own relationship and whatever complications come with it. Without dealing with each issue, the relationship will only get more complicated down the road.

Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

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