Why Does He Hurt Your Feelings?
Why does he hurt your feelings? Why does it seem he doesn’t care about your feelings or how much he hurt you? He has seen the damage he has done, he has seen you cry, get upset, and yet keeps doing what he knows hurts you. Why would he want to hurt your feelings after all the things you have gone though and done for him? Does it mean he does not love you, or that your feelings are not important to him?
First, in any given relationship there are bound to be hurt feelings. It is up to the couple to discuss and share what happened, learn from it, heal, and get past it. That is normal for every relationship. Hurt feelings happen.
It’s not normal when someone you love and treat well continues to do things repeatedly that they know damn well will hurt your feelings. Hate to say it, but anyone you love and treat well that does this doesn’t really care about your feelings. Sorry about it, but it’s true. That is not to say that they don’t care about you at all, they just don’t care enough about your feelings to do the right thing. They put their feelings ahead of yours, and leave you to deal with it.
Sure, it may bother them that your feelings are hurt, but it bothers you a hell of a lot more than it bothers them. So if you are wondering why he hurts your feelings, there is your answer. He is either doing it because he doesn’t care about you or your feelings at all, and you should get the hell out of there and end it, or he does care, but your feelings about certain things just are not that important to him.
So, the real question should be, why do you stay with a person who doesn’t care when they have hurt your feelings? Do you enjoy being with someone like that? Doubtful, but if you do, seek professional help please. Sure, they may have a good side, but it is not enough to make up for the fact that they don’t care whether or not what they do or say hurts your feelings. Sorry, but a relationship like this, as is, will only get worse if you don’t take a stand. Don’t wait for divine intervention. It’s going to be up to you to make your feelings a priority, but it has to start with YOU.
If you put your feelings for THEM above your own feelings then is it really any surprise that they don’t make yours a priority? You are partially responsible for how people treat you. If he hurts your feelings, give them the same consequences you would give any one else. Don’t make them special, because they aren’t making you special. Show them that to YOU your feelings are important, just as important as theirs.
You may be afraid to do so because of the consequences, like maybe they will get mad and leave you. The problem is that thinking that way causes you to not give him the consequences he deserves for hurting your feelings, and that is one main reason he is most likely doing it over and over again. The consequence of not standing up for yourself, and demanding better treatment and respect is that this relationship is going to just go downhill. If you really want this relationship to get better, than stop making excuses and enabling it to get worse.