Your self-esteem is the basis of how you see yourself, your life, and so much more. If you have low self-esteem it can negatively impact the relationship choices you make and become involved in. Unless you come to grips with your low self-esteem, it will most likely sink lower and lower. So how can someone raise their self-esteem to a higher level?
10 Ways to Increase Self-Esteem and Improve Your Relationships
- The first step to increase your self-esteem is to listen to you inner voice. Are you being your own worst enemy by being too critical and judging yourself too harshly? If so, it is time to quiet that negativity and replace it with positive reinforcement. That negative voice can negatively impact relationships as well.
- Let go of the idea of perfection and your self-esteem will increase. Life is not perfect, and neither are people, which includes YOU. Replace your goal of perfection with a goal of “the best you can”. The best you can is
an achievable goal, perfection is not. Stop setting yourself up for failure by trying to be perfect or having everything be perfect. Seeking perfection can sabotage even great relationships.
- Before you go to bed at night, try to think of three positive things you did that day. It doesn’t matter how minor, just something you can feel good about doing. It can increase your self-esteem by focusing on
positive things before bed instead of worrying about negative ones.
- Find your sense of humor and use it. When things do wrong or you make mistakes, rather than criticize yourself, laugh it off. A sense of humor can help little things from becoming more melodramatic than they need to be. A sense of humor as opposed to a sense of drama makes you more attractive in relationships.
- Take inventory of the people around you. If you surround yourself with negative people, you can be sure your self-esteem will be negative as well. Let go of people who keep yourself esteem low, and seek out more positive ones. Misery loves company, and you don’t need that kind of company. You don’t need negative friends or family members making you second guess your relationship.
- Take a look at what is truly making you unhappy. Is it your job? Is it your relationship? Financial situation? Whatever the case, the first step is to identify it, but not dwell on it. Let’s say your job makes you unhappy. The first step would be to do all you can to make things better at work. If you find there is nothing you can do, don’t get upset, and don’t blame yourself. You did all you can and the best you can. Now it is time to look for another job. Know that someday you will find something better. Instead of dwelling on how miserable your job makes you, empower yourself by looking for another one. Don’t look at it as a failure, do not blame yourself. Taking control of your situation is empowering, so feel empowered and in control. Sometimes situations that make you feel hopeless are the very situations that can make you feel in control just buy seizing the opportunity to take control. This can help you be strong when you have to stand your ground in relationships, or walk away from the wrong ones.
- Stop focusing on your negative qualities unless you plan on changing them. It is one thing to remind yourself that you could lose 10 pounds if you have a goal and are seriously working towards losing 10 pounds. But if
you are focusing on the 10 pounds you need to lose while eating ice cream and making yourself feel worse, it is pointless. We all have negative qualities, and we all deserve love regardless of those negative qualities. If you
focus only on your negative qualities you will force those you are involved with to focus on them as well.
- Set some long-term large goals and some small short-term goals. Make two lists. Even if it is something as simple as cleaning out your closets, organizing your kitchen cabinets or weeding your garden. When you see
yourself accomplishing smaller goals, the large ones do not seem so impossible or implausible. Same thing with relationships. Instead of lowering your self esteem by feeling like a loser for not being in a relationship, enjoy the process of dating. Each date, even if it is a horrible one, brings you one step closer to finding the right person. Feeling a sense of accomplishment that you are doing something, rather than waiting for something, improves your self-esteem.
- Get in touch with your soul, your life purpose and pull yourself out of the superficial. When you connect with your soul, and the soul of others, your self-esteem will increase. Volunteer to a cause that speaks to you and meet and interact with people who connect to that cause as well. Being surrounded by positive energy can do wonders for your self-esteem and keep you grounded.
- Let go of fear and take a chance. When it comes to relationships or any area of your life you are going to be held back if you dwell on your fears. Be willing to take risks so you can get the rewards. Understand that not all risks pay off, but that some of them WILL. If you don’t take a chance with relationships, you won’t get the relationship you want. Not all those relationships will work out, but if you don’t take a chance, none of them will.
Rebuilding your self-esteem is something that will take a little time but it is not an insurmountable task. Taking just one step today to build yourself, and making that a daily goal, will get you there sooner than you realize. If you have any other methods you have used yourself for improving self-esteem we would love to hear them in our comments section.