Are you staying married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons? Divorce is a tough decision, and not one to be taken lightly, of course. But if you are married to the wrong person, the time may come where divorce needs to be considered. If you are staying married to the wrong person, maybe it is time you rethink your reasons. Are you afraid of spending the rest of your life alone if you leave this marriage? Is being alone worse than being in a marriage that is empty or full of misery? At least being single would give you the chance to meet someone right for you. Then you would be in a marriage with the right person. But you have to let go of the bad to have the chance at good. If you don’t take that chance, you are stuck with what you have. Is that enough for you?
Are You Staying Married for the Wrong Reasons
You may be staying in a bad marriage until you meet someone worth leaving your current situation. That is unfair. Instead of having affairs, end your relationship. Allow the person you are with to be single and find their own happiness. It is not fair to hold onto them while cheating on them. If you have enough balls to cheat, have enough balls to do the right thing. Also, remember your spouse could be cheating on you or meet someone else. You can’t make them stay, if they really want to leave. So you may be thinking you will stay in the wrong marriage forever but your spouse may have other plans. So you may wind up single regardless of what you want. You could be in for a surprise one day where your spouse announces they want a divorce.
If you really feel you are married to the wrong person but can’t leave right now, at least do something productive. If you can’t leave because you can’t support yourself then make it so one day you can. Go to school, get a job, and work towards being financially independent some day. If you are staying until your children are 18, then you have time to plan and save and get things in line for when they do. Don’t start when they turn 18, start now. Think about what you will need to support yourself, and start working towards those goals. Reach them if you can by the time your children turn 18, or get as far as you can. The earlier you start, the better. Even if you start saving money on the side in a safe deposit account eventually that money could be a big help. Every little step counts.
It is hard to leave a marriage. It is also hard to stay in a marriage that is miserable and has zero intimacy. Either way is difficult. But to just staying married to the wrong person with no plans of getting out is depressing. It has to take a toll on your state of well-being. If you have tried everything you can to make it work, but failed, at least take care of yourself. If your marriage isn’t bringing you joy, build a strong team of family members and friends for support. Use them to lift yourself up. Use them for stability when you feel down. Take a class in something that interests you, or spend more time enjoying your hobbies. Build a life for yourself outside of your marriage until you can get out. Just because you are staying married to the wrong person doesn’t mean you can’t do what is right for you.
