Ghosting in Relationships

The recent term of ghosting, when concerning relationships, is really not a new occurrence in the relationship realm. In another article, disappearing men, it addresses men who disappear out of no where for no good reason. Ghosting is a new word, but it’s nothing new at all. So many people have been the victim of ghosting in their relationships. Things seem to be moving in the right direction and you seem so compatible with your significant other. You may have ever had a single fight, yet out of the blue, it feels you never existed. You used to talk all the time but now they won’t return a call, text, or answer your messages.


Since you care about them, your first thought is that something serious must have happened to make them ignore you like this. Your brain starts making excuses for them, and you really worried about them. You keeping trying to get in touch with them but are met with only silence on their end. When someone is ghosting you, they won’t contact you back regardless of the messages you leave them. You being hurt, angry or in distress will not make them come back into the picture.


After a certain amount of time, which varies with everyone, you begin to believe they may have ended your relationship without giving you the courtesy of that knowledge. They made a decision to end your relationship, and didn’t have the decency to let you know. This makes almost everyone who has been ghosted hurt and angry. You do not know why they never told you something was wrong or that they were not happy. When you were together they acted so happy, and even told you, in great detail how happy they were.

Ghosting in Relationships

   Ghosting in Relationships

So why did they do this to you? What changed their mind and their feelings so quickly and out of the blue? The harsh reality of the situation is they were not as into it as they were acting and saying they were. You have no idea how many people put on this act. They want shorter relationships and end them by ghosting. They don’t want to be tied down with one person for a long time. They want to enjoy someone’s company for a certain amount of time, but before things get too serious or reach another level, it is time for them to bail. No one would sign up for this, so of course they won’t TELL you this. Instead they will lie and act like they want the same things that you do.


There are other people who have been ghosted by someone they were in a long-term relationship with. These instance are different from the previous example. Some of the reasons people in long-term relationships are ghosted is because the other person is tired of talking. They may have told you too many times things you needed to stop doing or saying only for nothing to change. So they figure why bother talking about it? You should know why they left and don’t want to speak to you, and if you keep talking, it further justifies to them that ghosting was the right thing to do, because you clearly don’t get it.


Another reason people in long-term relationships are ghosted is because the person doesn’t want to see the other person hurt by what they have to say. They let the person deal with their feelings away from them. This is really a shitty way to break up with anyone. Sure, you don’t want to hurt someone, but most people would rather be hurt hearing it is over rather than wondering if it is over, finally figuring out that it is over, and then being hurt that the person didn’t even tell them outright.


Another reason people resort to ghosting to terminate a relationship is when they have found someone else. They don’t want you to know that is the reason for the relationship being over, so they tell you nothing, although you usually find out anyway. So when they are off with their new romance, they leave you in limbo wondering what they hell is going on.


Our best advice for all of those out there who have or are experiencing ghosting is to stop asking yourself unanswerable questions. Stop looking for clues. The bottom line is that the person you cared for did something really crappy to you. They don’t have a good reason for ghosting you, because there really is no good excuse, other than if you pushed your luck and didn’t take their feelings seriously when they expressed them. Once you accept that, you can move toward closure.


Have you experienced ghosting and how did you handle it? Would love to hear from you in the comments below.

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  7 comments for “Ghosting in Relationships

  1. Now I know why…I always new…. Suicide was a new word to me….lost my precious daughter,my home,my sanity,and maybe sentenced to life in prison….when they couple false Dom abuse with ghosting…let me tell you we are deadmen ….I am…….help please

  2. I have a similar problem now,at first he was ghosting,now he’s more like being evasive, evasive about everything! I’ve known this person for 16 yrs. Too many things are not adding up, I will not check on him because I’m just that way, but he’s told me not to worry, he’s moving back as soon as he gets his dad settled.It’s been two Sunday’s he says that, but this “one word” answer when I text him is bs and it takes about an hour for him to respond, never has he’s been this way. How can I get him to tell me what’s really going on, I don’t want him back if he just wants a place until he really decides what he wants.I told him there’s no games allowed in our relationship.

  3. I was in a 6-month relationship that was filled with “I love you’s” and pet names, but it’s been 2 weeks and I’ve not gotten a single callback or text from my, presumed ex-partner (after getting 15-20+ texts from him a day and that he would immediately pick up the phone or call me back). He was supposed to celebrate New Year’s with me but cancelled abruptly blaming stress from work and that there was too much work to do. Then I didn’t get a Happy Holidays or Happy New Year, but the weirdest part of all was that I got gifts and a holiday card professing his love for me (a week-and-a-half before Christmas). Now…I’ve not heard a thing. I thought perhaps something terrible happened, but when I called his cell the other day, it rang 2 1/2 times before I was sent to voicemail (usually it rings 6’x). I’ve exhausted the possibilities and cried about it for a day or so (the only possibility I haven’t considered was that he is being held hostage LOL). This is the 2nd time in my life I’ve been ghosted. The first time, he Facebook messaged me after 7 months apologizing but never giving a solid reason as to why he did it. After reading this article I will admit I feel sooooo much better, especially knowing there are TONS of people out there that share my pain.

  4. I’m being ghosted now. We’ve been together for 6 years. He’s been distant the past year, but we’ve not argued or anything. I really thought things were OK?. He’s not returning my calls or texts for 3 weeks now. The first 2 weeks I called. I’ve left it a week now….but I’m devastated. I just live him that’s all

  5. I was in a relationship for 3 years and one night my partner stayed at my house, the next morning we said our goodbyes before work.. I never heard from him until 10 months later when he called to apologise.

    It was tough, I got through it because I was surrounded my love from my family and friends.

    He never gave me a solid reason.


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