How do you avoid bad relationships early on? Many people find themselves emotionally invested in a relationship only to discover it’s a toxic relationship. Are there ways to tell while dating, or early in a relationship, if the relationship will likely turn out bad? Yes, there are signs and signals, if you pay attention.
One way is how you feel in the presence of your new love interest. We have all heard the term “butterflies in my stomach”. Butterflies are one thing, but feeling nervous or walking on eggshells for the wrong reasons is another thing altogether. If spending time with them or talking to them makes you feel unattractive, awkward, misunderstood or embarrassed don’t look for ways to excuse those feelings. Those feelings are there for a reason, and you should be paying close attention to them.
When someone makes you feel bad about yourself, you can bet the relationship will be bad for you. Don’t try to waste your time attempting to win them over or change their behavior. Instead, look for someone else that makes you feel good about yourself, and that makes you feel comfortable with them. Some people can insult you directly, and those are easy to spot, but others can cleverly disguise insults as if they are compliments. You don’t need to guess where a relationship with a person like this is headed, do you? People like this will slowly chip away at your self-esteem over time, so it is best not to become involved in a relationship with them in the first place.
You should also steer clear of someone who wants to change you in many ways. There is nothing wrong with being open to new ideas and experiences. What we are referring to is someone who wants to change things about you and your life that make you happy. If you are a family oriented person that enjoys spending time with your family, why should you allow someone to come into your life and try to change that about you? Unless your family dynamic is unhealthy (which they may try to say that it is) you don’t need to make a change. This new person is supposed to be an addition to your life, not your entire life. They should not be allowed to subtract people, places and things from your life that bring you happiness. If they do, it is a clear indication that they don’t care about your happiness, only their own.
If you enjoy certain activities such as clean eating or exercise should your new partner encourage you to skip your workouts all the time and eat and drink things that are unhealthy? No. In good relationships, you bring out the best in one another. In bad relationships, you bring out the worst in one another. It is a sign of bad things to come if you find yourself changing in ways that don’t make you feel good about yourself. A good relationship doesn’t bring out your insecurities, instead it makes you feel more secure. You shouldn’t always feel drained or that your new relationship revolves around your partner. If the relationship is healthy, it has respect, boundaries, and makes you feel more empowered. Don’t ignore the red flags when you see them, otherwise you will find yourself in bad relationships that just get worse over time.