Are you being gaslighted in your relationship? The term gaslighting comes from the 1944 movie titled Gaslight where a husband slowly manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane. This just doesn’t happen in the movies. Unfortunately this happens in relationships all the time.
ARE YOU A VICTIM OF GASLIGHTING?
Have you found yourself questioning your own sanity in your relationship? Has your partner lied straight to your face and told you they never did or said something, when you know for a fact they did? When you call them out on it have they told you there is something wrong with your memory. Has it gotten to the point where you actually have questioned your own memories? Have you found yourself apologizing all the time even though you are not the one doing anything wrong? Does your partner overreact all the time and always make everything your fault?
If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, there is a good chance your are being gaslighted.
STOP BEING GASLIGHTED BY YOUR PARTNER
So how can you stop gaslighting in a relationship? The first thing you have to do is be open about it to the supportive people in your life. Keep in mind though, the person who has gaslighted you, has more than likely done everything they can to keep you isolated. They don’t want you to have a support system in place. It is much harder to gaslight someone when they have supportive people around them. Next, call them on their bullshit.
Stop questioning yourself. You are not suffering from memory loss, you know exactly what they said. Let them know you are no longer falling for their act. Let them know you are on to them. Trust your gut. They have tried to take that away from you, where you no longer trust yourself. You know deep down when something is wrong, and you also know when you are right about things. Bring back the trust in yourself and your instincts that they took away.Stop making compromises or giving things (and people) up just to keep the peace. If there is truly nothing about these people, activities or things that is detrimental to a relationship, why should you have to? You shouldn’t. Also, why should you be the one making the compromises all the time? They don’t need to always get their way.
TAKING BACK CONTROL
When you start regaining some of the control you have lost, they will try to take that control back. You are an adult. You can make decisions for yourself. They do not need to be the only one making the decisions for the both of you. You know right from wrong and have earned the right to be trusted. You need to trust yourself and they need to trust you. If they can’t, it is their problem to solve, not yours.
If your partner is too resistant to you no longer allowing them to manipulate you, it is time to consider ending the relationship. There is no good reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship that will only get worse over time.
You may also want to check out our article, Red Flags of Unhealthy, Dysfunctional Relationships.