Your happiness is as important in your partners. Too many people are so focused on their partner’s feelings they lose sight of their own. This creates an imbalance in a relationship where one person is far more important than the other. It makes an unhealthy atmosphere where selfishness and neglect takes over. When you lose sight of what you want and need in your relationship, your partner will as well.
It is wonderful that we want to please our loved ones and make them happy. We shouldn’t feel as though we must be rewarded or paid back for treating our loved ones well. At the same time we should expect some reciprocation. After all, if your partner was doing things to show they care and showing they love you, wouldn’t you be grateful? Wouldn’t you treat them the same way in return? Of course you would! So there is nothing wrong with expecting the one you love to appreciate how much happiness you try to bring into their life.
Women can have a tendency to go overboard. They want to be nurturing and compassionate yet have difficulty being on the receiving end of what they are giving everyone else. We have to take stock of our behaviors and make a conscious effort to allow people to show us love. We should allow ourselves to be gracious and comfortable being loved in the same way we show our love. There are some affirmations we can use to help create an inner dialogue that reminds us that our happiness is important too. We deserve it just as much as everyone else. Here are some reminders you can use to keep yourself equally as important as your partner in your relationship.
1. I have a right to my feelings. I have a right to feel them, and express them without fear of repercussion. Holding them inside only creates poor communication skills between my loved one and I. I will no longer do that. I should not have to feel that I cannot express myself freely in my relationship. If I do, that problem needs to be addressed and not swept under the rug.
2. When I feel I am being mistreated or taken for granted I need to express that to my partner. I need my partner to hear me, and I will not accept it when someone tells me “I shouldn’t feel that way”. I should not second guess my genuine feeling. And I should no longer ignore red flags or make excuses for them.
3. I need to take time for myself, and doing so is not selfish. I need to replenish myself when I am getting burnt out. It is ok for me to put myself first sometimes and should not feel guilty about it.
4. My goals and my dreams are just as important as everyone else’s. I will not pursue my own goals and pursue my own dreams because I am too busy helping my partner reach their goals and fulfill their own dreams. I should expect my partner to be just as supportive of my pursuits as I am of theirs.
5. There is nothing wrong with trying to make others happy, but I will not put my energy towards making someone happy when they are being disrespectful towards me. I will not reward bad behavior.
6. I must apologize when I am in the wrong, not just verbally, but with my actions as well. I must also expect my partner to be held accountable when they are in the wrong, and not always be the peacekeeper or the bigger person. I need to stop making excuses for their bad behavior, and need no longer accept empty promises that things will change.
When you make your own happiness just as important as your partners you are creating healthy boundaries and enforcing them. You will keep your relationship from becoming too one sided where only one person is happy, while the other is not.You