Are you afraid to speak your mind in your relationship? Are you afraid that if you say what is on your mind you will only make matters worse? Are you fearful that what you say may change the one you love’s feelings for you? It is that fear that is going to change your relationship for the worse.
Sure, for the time being you may prevent a disagreement. But what you are doing, in actuality, is creating a pattern of behavior that in the future will be very hard to break. On top of that, all the time spent stifling your feelings will build resentment, insecurity, and at some point it will reach a crisis point. If you had a house that had a crack in the foundation, would you fix it, or ignore it? Wouldn’t common sense tell you that you should fix the small crack now, before it gets bigger and bigger? Wouldn’t you know that if you ignore it that it will only get worse and worse and more costly to repair down the line? Wouldn’t you see that crack as a threat to the stability of your home?
Of course you would. Then why do people see the cracks in their relationship as something they can sweep under the carpet? If you spot a problem in your relationship, don’t be afraid to address it. If you value your relationship, then do the work that is required to keep it healthy and stable. It is your partner’s job to address your concerns and feelings once you let them be known. Obviously if the one you love is doing things or saying things that upset or hurt you, it can only be one of a few reasons why they are doing it.
One would be that they think it doesn’t bother you that much. If you don’t speak your mind about it, then they are right to think that. Why wouldn’t you let them know something they are doing or saying is bothering you? If it isn’t important enough for you to bring it up, why should they think it is important enough to change it?
The second could be they are completely unaware it bothers you in any way at all. They may be completely oblivious to it. They would change it right away if they knew it bothered you. But you never said anything, so of course they will keep doing the same thing.If you were doing or saying something that bothered your boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or wife wouldn’t you want them to say something to you about it? Wouldn’t you want the chance to explain yourself and do things differently? Or would you rather they keep getting upset or hurt and never say anything to you about it until they blow up or it is too late?
If you would want the truth from your partner, then you have to be truthful with them as well. If you and your partner are not sharing your true thoughts and feelings with one another then your relationship is built on lies by omission. Your relationship is not as real as you pretend it is, because to have a real relationship you have to be able to get real and be real with one another. If you have to be a Stepford wife to keep your relationship intact then it simply isn’t worth it.
You are a living, breathing, human being with thoughts and feelings of your own. To ignore those, or keep them hidden for fear of judgement or insecurity is never the answer. Be honest with yourself about yourself. Then be honest about yourself to the one you love and don’t be afraid to speak your mind.