Are you solving your relationship problems or just creating more? For the most part, people want to solve their relationship problems because they don’t like negativity, hard feelings, or friction in their relationship. They want their relationships to run smoothly, and to have positive interactions and to get along.
When a problem in a relationship arises, most people want that problem solved. But in an effort to solve relationship problems, many people wind up creating more. For instance, if in order to avoid an argument one person always keeps their mouth shut and/or lets the other person get their way, they are causing numerous more problems in their relationship. Now of course sometimes it is good to avoid an argument and keep your mouth shut, but when you do that too often, you are avoiding the problems, not just the argument, and the problems are obviously repeating themselves.
It would be better to find a way to express what you feel you need to, so your partner understands where you are coming from and isn’t on the defensive. If your partner is always on the defensive with you, that is the problem, and they have to find a way to fix things on their end. It is not your problem to fix. By keeping quiet you are enabling them to get away with murder and not learn better communication skills within your relationship. Without communicating properly, a relationship winds up deteriorating.
If the one you love treats you badly and your way of trying to solve this problem is by treating them well, you are only creating more problems. You should never reward bad behavior. When you reward bad behavior is it any wonder why that bad behavior keeps happening? If you want to stop someone from treating you badly, either stand up for yourself, or withdraw for a while.
If you keep using fear as an excuse to not solve your relationship problems you are definitely creating more. Your treatment will get worse, you will be disrespected, and your self-esteem will wind up eroding. You will then find yourself in a toxic, dysfunctional relationship that may never be fixable.
You may think that relationship problems solve themselves, that with the passage of time or some sort of life bulb moment that your significant other has, everything will get miraculously better. That happens in romance novels and on television or in the movies. Rarely, if ever, does that happen in real life. Ignoring your problems or just hoping they will go away is a great way to ensure your relationship is going to get much worse.
Relationships take work, not just wishing on a star. The work that you have done putting up with the problems in your relationship is not easier than actually doing something to make it better. Your tactics to solve your relationship problems are part of the problem. Try something different. Try something drastic. Try something logical. Or you can just keep experiencing the same relationship problems (even with different relationships) until you finally learn from your mistakes and learn how to stand up for yourself instead of just being a peace keeper.