Why do people stay in bad relationships? I hear this question more often than I can count. It is easy to understand why so many people would have difficulty understanding why people stay in bad relationships.
Sometimes people stay in bad relationships for financial reasons. They think they will lose what they worked for or not be able to support themselves and possibly their children. As for losing half of their money and/or assets, I for one would rather lose it than be miserable with someone I can’t stand. But not everyone is like that. I think whatever you lost you can regain in time, but the longer time continues, the more assets they have to get from you when the bad relationship ends. So to me, it makes no sense. Money can’t buy happiness or freedom to pursue it.
Another reason people stay in bad relationships is out of fear. Some people fear they will never find someone and will be all alone. A bad relationship is no picnic, and you have almost no control over whether you will have a good day or a bad day when your significant other can make it go either way. Wouldn’t peace in your life and household be better than the chaos being with the wrong person brings to your life? What do you believe is so wrong with you that you couldn’t possibly find someone better than the person you are with? Isn’t it worth the risk? Think of all you can gain. And, let’s face it, being in a bad relationship makes you feel lonely a lot of the time, and you can’t really count on them to be there for you anyway, can you?
Another reason people stay in bad relationships is because they actually are the reason it is bad. You are only hearing their side of the story, and although you may not want to believe it, they are contributing to the “bad”. Some people actually do not want a normal, or what most people think are normal, relationships. They like the back and forth, breaking up and getting back together. They get some weird kick out of the drama and chaos.
This may sound surprising, but not all people WANT a good relationship. Seriously, they don’t. That is why people leave a good relationship to go back to an ex that made their lives hell. This is why they stay and have affairs instead of ending their marriage and pursuing someone else freely. Until they get rid of the issues that caused them to stay and contribute to bad relationships, they won’t have the skills necessary to help create a good one.