Confronting the Other Woman: Should You or Shouldn’t You?

Have you considered confronting the other woman when you discovered your guy is seeing someone else? You probably feel devastated and enraged one would think.  He made a commitment to you, broke it and is now seeing this other woman. You want to give them both a piece of your mind. Take a deep breath before you even think about doing this. All the hurt you are feeling now is nothing, because when you see her, your emotions just may skyrocket even further. You don’t want to get into a verbal shouting match in front of other people. You don’t want to do it in front of your children either. You don’t want to get arrested should it lead to a physical fight. All of these things can happen if you decide to confront the other woman.

What do you hope to gain by confronting her? To cause her pain?  If she knew about your relationship she obviously doesn’t care enough about you or your feelings for you to hurt her. She may get mad, but that is about it. She already justified, in her own mind, the reasons for doing what she did. So causing her pain is out.  And forget about physical pain as well because this biotch is not worth a fine or jail sentence.  You going postal in front of her will only make her feel more justified in what she did, because now that she has seen your behavior, to her it is no wonder he cheated on you.

Chances are he fed her a line of crap in the first place and made all the problems in your relationship your fault. Her impression of you this entire time is based on what he told her, which most likely is that you are cold, mean, evil, can’t communicate properly and have no sex drive. Fifty bucks says she won’t believe a word you say. If she does, she will have to realize he is not the victim he made himself out to be and that she was lied to. She doesn’t want to know he is at fault and a dirtbag and that you did not deserve this. If you call her, she won’t get mad at him. In most cases you will validate, especially if you are angry, call her names or yell, everything she heard from him. She may even feel more sympathy towards him. So that could backfire.

If you want to make her feel guilty, forget it. Not gonna happen. If she possessed the right amount of guilt she never would have gotten involved with your guy and would have dumped him the moment she found out about you. Is it to get something off your chest? Instead of confronting her, vent to your friends and family. Write what you would say to her on paper and then burn it.

Do you want to confront her to make her feel ashamed? Forget that too, she is a woman involved with a cheater and isn’t ashamed of that. She played her part in this and wasn’t ashamed of doing it, so forget that too. Always remember the woman you are planning on confronting. She was gullible enough to think his side of the story was 100% true. She may even hate and despise you for all the “mean things” he told her about you. She may actually turn on you are flip out big time, so don’t take that chance. It is understandable that now you feel this woman is your arch enemy, and rightfully so. She had no place in your relationship, and is irrelevant at this point. Who gives a crap about her anyway? You shouldn’t. So let go of her on focus on yourself and allow yourself the time you need to heal. HE is the one that cheated on you, and he is the one you need to deal with. Decide if you really want to work on your relationship (if he is willing) and instead make him call her in front of you and tell her it is over. Then, have him delete all her contact information and keep him on a short leash until he earns your trust back.


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Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio. 


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