Have you found yourself dating a married man or woman through internet dating? Internet dating has opened up an entire new way for single people to meet. Right? Wrong. Unfortunately not everyone out there online looking to date is single.
It used to be a when a married guy started cheating, he’d simply remove his wedding band before heading into a club or bar. If the place had dim lighting, he could get away with it. However, in most cases, the telltale white line around his ring finger was a dead give away that he’d just removed his ring to magically become single.
With computer dating that white line becomes blurred. Really blurred. There is no way of spotting the “white line” unless you meet the guy (or gal). Believe it or not, according to an MSNBC dating survey, 30% of men with active listings on dating sites today are married!
Says one expert: “Whether a single woman meets her date through an online dating service, or at offline places like church or the market down the street, the 30% rat ratio remains constant.”
However, it’s not only men who are looking for the extramarital activities these days. According to a lot of research out there today, married women are actively dating just as much as married men. They are just doing it for different reasons, in many cases.
So with these statistics in mind, it’s safe to say that somewhere out there down, someone has, will, or is about to, run into someone who is already married. You can just about bet on it! Now before you even have to ask the question: “Are they married?” Here are seven simple tips to help spot if someone who is trying to date you is actually married.
- Someone who is married never gives out his or her real last name. Most married cheaters don’t want to get caught. The last thing they want to give away is their true identity, just in case things sour and someone starts calling someone’s spouse. “Our advice here is to take out your driver’s license, and playfully ask to see his. If he recoils at the idea, you may have a dating married rat,” says one expert. Note: Just make sure if you do play the “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” game, that you’re 100% comfortable with this person knowing where you actually live.
- Someone who is married will never tell you where he or she lives and/or you will never be invited to visit their home. Any questions? This one should be pretty obvious, but you would be surprised how many people let this one slide – only to find out too late. It makes sense when you first start dating that your date wants to be with you and only you. So you always end up at YOUR place. As the dating continues, the excuses from the cheater in regards to where they live will undoubtedly get more and more creative. Note: check the driver’s license
- Someone who is married never has a home phone telephone number. They always give out their cell phone number because it’s always “so much easier.” The revolution of the cell phone has made it so much easier for people to communicate. It has also become a tool for people who cheat on their spouse. If the reasoning behind the lack of handing over a home telephone number to you sounds fishy, then chances are if you had it, you’d be talking to his or her spouse if you unexpectedly called. Since many people no longer have a landline, making sure you have been invited to his house at some point is important.
- Someone who is married, and pretending to be single, has bizarre telephone habits. Okay, if you let it slide that your date can only use a cell phone to communicate with you, then why are the calls at odd hours? Are calls suddenly dropped mid-sentence, regardless of where he or she is? Do you only get voice-mail when you call during “normal hours?” Do get your calls returned at odd hours, with even more bizarre excuses? Face it; if someone is married they are not going to be able to talk with you when they are with their family. Note: Speaking of family, see tip 5.
- If the person you are dating is married, you will NEVER meet their immediate family. Anyone single and romantically involved with someone would invite their date to meet their family. Right? Well, if the person is married you can forget about meeting any brothers, sisters, aunts or uncles – let alone parents. So if they tell you they have to go to a funeral, guess what? You are not going to be going – and if you do show up out of sympathy – well, bring a pair of sneakers. You may want to hit the pavement running when you see what really going on. Note: The only exception is if the entire family hates the spouse and wants to see their loved one happy – but the chances of that are very, very slim.
- Someone who is married will never be able to spend a holiday, their birthday or any other kind of celebration with you. If they are busy with their family, they will not be spending it with you – regardless of their excuse. If you start feeling like a party for one – you are.
- Fuzzy, blurry out of focus online ad photos.
If someone happens to married, they are not going to post a current, clear, and in focus photo of him or herself just in case someone may happen to see their picture. So the bottom-line: If you have to ask yourself the question, “I wonder if they are married?” Enough said.
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