Many people are afraid of letting go because they fear that at the same time, they must give up. But does letting go always mean you are giving up? Not necessarily.
When you have an ex, or are currently involved in a relationship that is not working for you, letting go can simply mean that you have stopped trying. You finally reach a point where you realize you cannot control how another person feels, what they want, and their intentions towards you. They have free will and make their own decisions and are responsible for their own behavior, actions, words, and choices.
Letting go does not mean you have given up on someone, but letting go of forcing change you are not in control of. The only person that you have that control over is you. If you want an ex back but they are not receptive towards you, you need to accept that at a certain point. You can hope they may want you back in the future, but you must accept that they do not want to reunite with you now. With that acceptance, you let go of trying to change their mind, and somehow “make” them take you back.
When you let go you can focus on yourself, and what changes you need to make for yourself to have better relationships in the future. (With your ex if they choose to come back, or with someone new). It is a win-win situation when you let go of what you cannot do, and focus on what you can. Are there lessons for you to learn? Personal boundaries you need to build back up? Healing that you need? What you let go you can take the time needed for yourself.
It also gives you an opportunity to take a breather from your ex and then look at the relationship and your ex with a fresh set of eyes. When you are caught up in emotion you do not see the facts you may really need to see. Assess that relationship and your ex and see if you should, for your own future happiness, attempt to get back together with them should the opportunity arise. Letting go is a form of release, and with that release we gain strength and empower ourselves for what the universe is bringing into our lives. Letting go does not always mean giving up entirely, but giving us an opportunity to grow for the better and spend our energies with more to gain.
Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go doesn’t mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible–controlling that which we cannot–and instead, focus on what is possible–which usually means taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.~ Melody Beattie
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