Does you guy ruin birthdays, holidays and special occasions? There seems to be an epidemic of men who don’t believe in buying a gift or even getting a card for the woman in their life when holidays and special occasions roll around. If they just lost their job or are having financial issues that is one thing, but this bullshit of “I don’t do gifts” is ridiculous. I mean, come one, who doesn’t DO gifts? They do not seem to have a problem accepting gifts, but only have a problem purchasing them? If they don’t want a gift for their birthday or any holiday, that is fine, but they should consider that the woman in their life does, and usually expects, a gift.
Isn’t a relationship about compromise? He doesn’t do gifts? Fine, don’t get him one. Respect his wishes. But if you do gifts, he should respect your wishes. Quite often we forget to do the little things, and holidays and special occasions remind us to show those that we care about and love how we feel.
This is not about materialism, either, and should not be about the cost of the item. It is about honoring your place in their life. Cooking a special dinner, making a homemade card, baking a cake… these are all FREE, all they require the gift of time, effort and respect on their part. If your man doesn’t do anything special for you because it is “Wednesday” for example, he should at least do something special (monetary or not) for special occasions.
Yes, we have become a materialistic society, but this is not about that. On your birthday he doesn’t have to buy you the Hope diamond, but breakfast in bed would be nice. To ignore you on the holidays and personal special occasions makes you feel not too special, and you have every right to feel that way. I know so many women who buy gifts for the men in their lives during the holiday season and then feel slighted when they get nothing in return. It’s rude and it’s mean.
Is it really too much to expect the person you are in a relationship with to acknowledge you on holidays? No. Especially if he gives gifts to other people, just not you. It has a deliberateness about it, especially when their intention was not to give you a gift at all. Is he being a lousy cheapskate? Maybe. More than likely he just can’t be bothered OR does not want to send ‘the wrong message’. That is about control and disregard.
When the holiday season is upon us, it is perfectly legitimate for you to ask if you are exchanging gifts. If they say no, tell them you do want to exchange gifts, and they need to hurry before it is too late because if they don’t have something for you, you are going to be pissed. And if they don’t, be pissed. There should be some consequences.
What are the holidays and special occasions for if not to spend time with the one you love? So why isn’t he spending time with you? Aren’t the holidays and special occasions a reminder to be grateful for the love we have in our lives and acknowledge it? Yet this butthole can’t send you a card? Can’t burn a CD of your favorite songs? Hell, he loves your lingerie in the bedroom and enjoys it, but god forbid he buy some? Come on already. Enough with the “I don’t want to be materialistic”. It’s not about material things, a store bought card or a hand written one, a present from your favorite store or a home cooked favorite meal. Free or purchased, they should do something. And if they won’t, there are bigger problems to your relationship that must be addressed.