Are you guilty of doing the wrong things for love? You may set out to do only the right things for the one you love, but what if they are the wrong things for your relationship?
What may have started out as acts of love, kindness, or compassion, may have turned out to be big mistakes. We have to be careful to make sure we are not doing the wrong things in our relationship that turn it toxic and dysfunctional. So what are some examples of doing the wrong things for love?
Doing the Wrong Things for Love
- If you are giving too much of yourself yet getting to little in return, you are doing the wrong things for love. If you love your partner, you must also love yourself. You are a part of this relationship, and if you are not getting back the love you put out, then you need to stop what you are doing. Take some of that love you have towards him and give it to yourself. Realize that you deserve more, and stop lowering your standards. Stop constantly showing someone else how you feel about them if you are getting the opposite, or nothing in return. Pull back, so they have a chance to come forward.
- If you have taken over the role of parent, rather than lover, you are doing the wrong things for love. There is nothing wrong with helping out the one you love, but they can’t behave like a child and not be responsible for themselves. Children turn on their parents when they don’t get their own way, and resent them when they are told what to do. Pull way from the parent role you slipped into. Do the right thing by making them take more care of themselves, and be less dependent. There is nothing wrong with helping someone but if they depend on you too much, you will have a child on your hands soon enough. They need not rely on you so much that they take advantage of you or take you for granted.
- Mixing finances and love is often the kiss of death. It may seem, at the time, that a way to show your love is to help the one you love out financially. Unless it is a gift, that does not cause hardship, and you don’t need it back, it is best not to use money as a means of expressing love. Too often these financial dealings lead to resentment, and sometimes financial ruin. If you are going to enter into any financial arrangement, do it legally or don’t do it at all. Your legal agreement will make sure there is no misunderstanding as to the expectation of how and when it will be paid back. It also protects you should the relationship end. It isn’t the most romantic thing in the world to invite lawyers into things, but financial misunderstandings or mistakes and ruin the romance fast enough, and often does.
- If you do nothing to create and enforce healthy boundaries in your relationship, then you are not doing the right things for love. It may seem more loving to let things slide, but that is not the right thing to do. It is your job to create and enforce your boundaries, and your loved ones job to create and enforce theirs. Without healthy boundaries in a relationship, the prognosis for the future is pretty beak.
These are just a few examples of doing the wrong things for love. Looking back at your past relationships, what things have you done that now you realize we’re the wrong thing to do?