Don’t Shoot the Messenger

Sometimes you just want to shoot the messenger, even when that messenger is your friend. You have told your friends every gory detail about him. You told them he scratches his balls with your hairbrush. You told them he rates his farts on a scale of 1-10. Your friends stayed with you on your birthday when he picked a fight and ruined it. They cannot forget the days they heard you complain and cry when you questioned your own sanity for being with this pig in the first place. They felt your hurt and your pain. You shared it with them.   Now when he does something horrible and you mention it to them, they are supposed to keep their mouths shut? Your friends are supposed to join you on planet denial and be your cheer-leading enablers to assist you in avoiding reality? God help them if they tell you anything negative about his behavior towards you, because you will get pissed at them for being so negative towards him.

dont shoot the messenger

Don’t Shoot the Messenger

You get defensive and now feel you have to keep things from your friends because all they are going to do is make you feel worse. Well, what are friends for? Yes, you may have some friends that are negative people and want to rain on your parade (and why do you have these people as friends might I ask?) so they don’t count. But you know who your real friends are, don’t you? You know the ones who know you as well as you know yourself, and deep down you know they are telling you the truth. The truth you is what don’t want to face. A real friend does that tries to help you see the truth because they actually care about you.
A real friend doesn’t do what you are doing. A real friend doesn’t keep things from their friends to protect the reputation or image of a person that is doing them wrong. A real friend doesn’t get mad at their friends for sharing their doubts about the man in your life, especially if they have good reasons that came from your own mouth.
If you choose to lose friends that care about you for a man who treats you like he doesn’t, you truly don’t deserve friends, because you don’t value them. The fact that you would lose a friend who cares over someone who makes you feel like they don’t care at all is really the issue. How many women have stopped speaking to a friend of theirs that told them their man was cheating on them? What did the woman do other than tell you the truth? Some women can forgive the man for cheating but not the woman that told them the truth. Excuse me? How messed up is that? 
I believe the reason they drop their friend for telling them the truth is because the friend knows the truth that they themselves don’t want to face. They don’t want the friend around as a reminder of his unfaithfulness, or whatever the truth about him is. (And they sure as hell don’t want her around when he does it again.)
Ladies, don’t shoot the messenger, either ditch the loser in your life that you are bitching about, let your friends state their opinions, or shut your mouth and keep it to yourself. Copyright 2009-2014 All rights reserved. Written permission is required from the author to post on your site or be used in any way, shape, or form. If you quote an article please credit and supply a link to our original posting. While many people seem to be under the impression that we should be flattered that you use our work, we are not, plagiarism is plagiarism, and we do not find stealing our work and our ideas flattering at all and you will be prosecuted under the law.

Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio. 


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