Emotional denial in relationships occurs in more than one way and more often that you would think. Emotional denial can be used as a way of manipulating your partner and feeling like you have the upper hand. Think of it as someone playing emotional hard to get. If the one you love won’t profess their true feelings for you, it could be a way of keeping you on your toes.
Sometimes people resort to emotional denial because they are afraid that once they state their true feelings they themselves will be taken advantage of. They think they will be in a vulnerable position, and that they will have given their power up to the one they love. Just because someone denies they have feelings for you doesn’t mean they don’t necessarily have feelings for you. Some people can claim to love you to death and then will go and sleep with your sister. People do not always speak the truth.
Some people have a hard time expressing their emotions because they have not yet gotten their emotions sorted out. They know they feel something for you, but they do not know exactly how strong that emotion really is. Sometimes they may wait long periods of time before they come clean because they wanted to make sure that what they feel is actually real love and not infatuation, or attraction. In some cases, emotional denial comes up because one may feel that if they express how they feel the relationship will change. They may not be ready for the next step just yet, so they deny their feelings.
Always remember, it is almost impossible, if not completely impossible to be in denial of one’s own feelings. They may deny it to you, but they know how they feel. We know what pain feels like, sadness, jealousy as well as every other emotion there is out there. Even those testing to see if they really love someone at least believe the possibility exists, because what they feel feels like love.
One of the best ways to know if someone is in emotional denial is by their actions and their words. Not only one, but both. If their actions and their words show you they don’t care about you, then feel safe in the knowledge that they don’t. They are not in emotional denial, you are. If they contradict one another, you may be on to something. If they won’t tell you by words but their actions express that they do care for you, then it is almost certain that although they won’t tell you verbally, they are acting on the feelings for you that they have. Perhaps they will eventually express them verbally as well.
Keep in mind some people are more comfortable expressing how they feel with actions rather than words. Give it time, they may become comfortable doing both. However, if they won’t express positive feelings for you verbally or through actions? Don’t waste any more time — give them the boot. No need to subject yourself to that kind of treatment any longer.