Do you, or any of your friends, waste time trying to mend a relationship instead of ending it when you should? A few women were recently discussing relationships and one was mentioning that her new(less than 6 months old) relationship had numerous issues and problems they couldn’t resolve. One woman suggested couples counseling. I was stunned. Other women at the table agreed it might be a good idea. I was more stunned.
Once I picked my jaw off the floor I said “Why not end it?”. The women turned to me and they were stunned.
“Why end it?” one said.
I asked “Why continue when the signs are so obvious and numerous that this is not the right relationship partner for her?” I went on to explain that dating is a process we are supposed to use to find the right one for us, and if he is not, let him go and keep looking.
Women now seem to find the wrong guy and then try and turn him into the right guy! This works less than 1% of the time, if that. They waste years and years crying, fighting, being disappointed, hurt and angry, and for what?
Is this really less work and more fun than dumping the wrong guy and putting that same effort into finding the right one? Is it really easier to stay with the same guy who keeps doing the same shit that pissed you off the last 100 times he did it than it is to try and find someone who might actually be compatible with you?
Is it more fun to be disappointed when the same promises are broken time and time again as opposed to trying to find someone whose promise is something more than lip service? Is it more entertaining to try and force, mold, and shape someone into what you want them to be (and have them fight you every step of the way) than to find someone who is that guy already? Don’t tell me its hard to find the right guy when you aren’t even looking and instead wasting time with the wrong one.
Don’t complain that you don’t want to be alone when you are with someone who makes you feel alone even when they are there. Don’t tell me you can invest time, energy, effort, tears, etc on the wrong guy, but you can’t invest in yourself instead of them? Why don’t you stop trying to make dysfunctional, failing relationships work, and instead focus on you. It is better use of your time, resources and energy. So why not do it? Change yourself, because changing his hasn’t really worked, has it?