Friends or Enemies? Is The One You Love a Friend or an Enemy?

It seems strange that we have to ask if you and your significant other are friends or enemies, but alas we must. There is a big difference in those two words: friends or enemies. If you look up the word friend to find a definition you would could up with something similar to the following:

  1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
  2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
  3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

If you take a look at couples that are in strong, healthy, satisfying relationships, you will see that they fit the definition of a friend as well as a lover. If you take a look at people in unhappy, dysfunctional drama-ridden relationships you will see that they do not fit the definition of friend. Dysfunctional couples fit the definition of the word enemy. The word enemy can be defined as:

  1. One who feels hatred toward, intends injury to, or opposes the interests of another; a foe.
  2. A hostile power or force
  3. Something destructive or injurious in its effects.
are you friends or enemies with romantic partner

Friends or Enemies?

Which is the person YOU are involved with? Your friend or your enemy? We have all heard that the best relationships start out being friends first, and even though you may not have started out that way with your partner, shouldn’t you be friends NOW? You have to be, otherwise what are you doing in a relationship with your enemy? How can you expect to have love in your relationship if you don’t even have enough for a friendship? Isn’t love a step above friendship? Is what you have steps below friendship? If you are in a relationship that you cant seem to fix, why not start out by just trying to be their friend and build from there? If the man in your life won’t offer you friendship, what does he really have to offer you? Nothing.

Think about the things that ruin friendships. Lack of contact, canceling plans, harsh words, to name a few are all reason a friendship could end. They are also reasons why it is not a good friendship in the first place. Is the man in your life doing the same things that would cause you to call your friend out or end the friendship? If he is, why aren’t you calling him out or considering ending the relationship? If we are supposed to put the one we love romantically above our friends why do we hold them to lesser standards than our friends? How can we hold them to low standard yet expect to have high quality relationships that last? We can’t. It is time to put  friendship into your relationship.
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