Friends with benefits is an oxymoron. Exactly what benefits do you have in a situation like this?
You don’t have the benefit of being long-term friends, because the sex almost always gets in the way. You get sex, but with none of the benefits of having sex in an intimate, monogamous relationship. There are some, although fewer than you would think, “friends with benefits” situations where both parties do not want more, neither hopes it becomes more, and the situation ends on a positive note. So who really benefiting from this arrangement?
“Friends with benefits” rarely, if ever, leads to a healthy relationship. So those entering into situations like this hoping it will lead to more are disappointed and hurt when it doesn’t turn out as they hoped. People who think they can use each other for meaningless sex and keep their friendship intact are deluding themselves because the friendship almost always ends badly. What kind of friend wants to use you for sex but doesn’t like you enough to try a relationship with you? Not a very good one!
What kind of friend thinks that you should let someone (even them) use you for sex? A real friend? No. So not only are their no real benefits, but there is no real friendship either. If the two of you are “such good friends” why would you risk losing the friendship for sex? Can’t you find that somewhere outside of the friendship?
So is the term “friends with benefits” a less offensive way of describing a booty-call? Yeah, that sounds about right, considering they are pretty much one and the same. Both can be defined as casual sex with no strings attached. Usually someone (YOU) ends up wanting more from the relationship, but getting hurt in the end.
SOUNDS AWESOME DOESN’T IT? Note the sarcasm.
So who came up with this “friends with benefits” crap and decided to try to make it a mainstream “good idea”? (Also, please tell me why it seems to be working while you are at it.) Who is it that really “benefits” here?
People that want to use other people for sex and have no strings attached. That’s who.
I guess it just sounds better to some people to have a person tell them they want to be friends with benefits than to simply say I want to have sex with you and maybe hang out with you a little here and there but that is it. It may sound better, but it still sucks and is disrespectful. Why aren’t people more insulted when someone offers them something as lame as this?
If some guy walked up to you and told you “Hey, I want to get you in the sack but am offering you nothing but alleged friendship” wouldn’t you think “ASSHOLE!”? And wouldn’t you also feel insulted while contemplating stomping his nuts into powder? You should! Being offered the “friends with benefits” package of bullshit should make you think and feel the same way. That is bad enough coming from a stranger, but from your friend? What kind of friends do you have for God’s sakes?
Hookers at least get PAID. That is THEIR benefit. So what is yours?
Copyright 2009-2014 All rights reserved. Written permission is required from the author to post on your site or be used in any way, shape, or form. If you quote an article please credit and supply a link to our original posting. While many people seem to be under the impression that we should be flattered that you use our work, we are not, plagiarism is plagiarism, and we do not find stealing our work and our ideas flattering at all and you will be prosecuted under the law.