When the opportunity to get back together with your ex presents itself, for most people the answer is simple. Getting back together with your ex should not be a decision based on emotion alone. Your brain and your heart should both weigh in before your final decision is made. Your heart may tell you to get back together with your ex because you had so many good times and there is a lot to miss. Your brain should be there to remind you that there was more than one reason you and your ex broke up.
You should think about the parts of your relationship with your ex that you don’t miss. You may still have warm fuzzy feelings when you think about the good times together. But what about the feelings you had when they hurt or angered you? Don’t imagine how things could be in the future, or this time around. Instead focus on the totality of how things were.
If the trust you had as a couple has been blown to bits and is non-existent, you should not get back together with your ex. You cannot be in a relationship without trust and move forward. The trust has to be earned back, and then if you want to get back together, then it may not be such a bad idea. Winning you back is not the same as winning your trust back.
The sad thing is many people feel that just because they are back together with their ex, their job is done. You can’t rebuild trust alone, one partner has to be open to the rebuilding and the other putting in the heavy lifting. Simply reconciling and spending time together won’t do the trick. If either (or both) of you have been betrayed you should think long and hard before you give it another shot. Has this person been trustworthy for the most part? Or did you give them way too many chances and they blew it every single time?
If your ex has proven to not be trustworthy for the most part, you should not get back together with your ex. Why sign up to the same old same old? Why allow them to prove to you, once again, that they cannot be trusted? Haven’t you felt foolish enough? A relationship without trust has no room to grow, and has nothing but a bleak future.
Is sex the only thing that was consistently good between you and your ex? Good sex is great for a purely sexual relationship. However, if you are looking for a real relationship, sex alone will not make it happen. If you want the whole enchilada, you are going to have to find someone other than your ex. You need to find someone you can spend your life and be happy with. Not just someone you can spend time in the bedroom with and be happy. Not everyone we have chemistry with or are sexually compatible with is real relationship material.
Deciding if you should get back together with your ex is a serious decision. Think long and hard, and take your time before you jump the gun. Sometimes to the wisest choice is to get back together with your ex. But in some cases, the wisest choice is to keep on moving on.