Has your boyfriend been hurt before and told you that it is the reason for the things he has been doing and saying to you? Have they used the excuse that he has been hurt before to keep from giving you a commitment? Has he kept your relationship stuck because he was damage in a past relationship?
That may be an excuse for why your boyfriend is not moving forward with you, but it is just an excuse. He can do nothing about the past, but he now has a choice of what he does in the future. It is wonderful that you are an understanding woman and empathize with the fact they were hurt before. The problem is that your compassion and understanding isn’t helping the situation get resolved. You may understand his fear of getting close, but you must also realize this is a cop-out. Your boyfriend is allowing his past to affect his future with YOU. That is not fair.
You are not the one that hurt him, that is his ex’s fault. Why should you have to pay for her mistakes and what she did? You shouldn’t. Just like you can be understanding when it comes to the fact that your boyfriend was hurt by his ex, he must also understand you don’t deserve to suffer because of it. He may have trust issues because someone from his past. Your boyfriend may be afraid to get close to you or reveal his feelings to you because he was hurt before. Fine, understandable. But now, rather than have you hurt by it, it is up to HIM to deal with it. It is time your boyfriend got over his issues, or EVERY relationship he has will suffer needlessly.
Don’t let his excuses get in the way of him from not getting a grip on his past relationship. They need to find a way to let go of their past hurt, and they need to start right away. They may even be using their past as en excuse to keep from moving forward with you. Either way, this issue needs to be dealt with by the both of you, so you can either move forward together, or you can move on by yourself and stop wasting your time on him.