When you first started dating your guy, he swore he was over her and would rather chew off his own foot than get back together. But he went back to his ex. He told you negative things about her that made her out to be some swamp creature. As a matter of fact, he never seemed to have anything good to say about her. He may have told you all kinds of horror stories and admitted his friends and family will kill him if he ever got back together with his ex. Well, he should be a dead man any second now because he did.
You just can’t believe it! You are devastated and can’t believe he gave her another chance. Did he tell you they had gotten broken up and gotten back together several times before? If he did, that was your first red flag. Couples that keep going back to one another, even though they swore that was the last time quite often repeat this pattern for years. It is always a good idea to ask how many times the couple has gone back and forth before you give him a shot. If he tells you more than 2 and that it has gone on for over a year you need to run like the wind.
If this is what just happened to you, it is a safe bet he and the ex will break up again, and he might just come knocking on your door again. What should you do if this happens? Don’t answer it. He already has an on again-off again relationship with one woman already, he doesn’t need to have one with you too.
If his ex was a total bi*ch who treated him like dog-doo who broke his heart time after time and decided to pop-up again because she found out he was with you, it is likely they will break up again. She only wanted to screw things up between the two of you and this guy is so clueless he doesn’t see it. He does not know what love is and doesn’t really love his ex. No one could love someone that mistreats them that badly.
He is obsessed with winning her love. (Never going to happen.) Eventually this guy will tire of his ex using him like a boomerang, but you can’t wait around for it to happen. If you try to win him over, he will see himself in you and be repulsed. (Just like she is by him). Don’t think that by showing him kindness he will appreciate it. He is not programmed that way right now. You have to accept that he is f*cked up right now, and will be for a long time. Let him go.
Even if you know there is no chance in hell these two are going to make it this time, don’t wait around for him. We expect you to be angry at him for doing this to you, but please bear in mind he always knew he would give her another shot. Don’t blame her, the choice was his. Now you need to choose to leave this loser behind you. Why should she get so many chances (that failed and will continue to fail) and you didn’t even get a decent shot? The answer is that he and she have an on/off relationship and you didn’t stand a chance.
Copyright 2009-2014 All rights reserved. Written permission is required from the author to post on your site or be used in any way, shape, or form. If you quote an article please credit and supply a link to our original posting. While many people seem to be under the impression that we should be flattered that you use our work, we are not, plagiarism is plagiarism, and we do not find stealing our work and our ideas flattering at all and you will be prosecuted under the law.