How much proof do you need when it comes to the one you love? Why do so many people ignore the truth about the person they love and remain in denial? The truth about the person you love is based on facts, not feelings.
Your feelings are what create excuses for the one you love to get away with whatever it is they are doing or saying. Your creative narrative about them pretty much ignores the proof so that you can justify either not ending the relationship or not changing it. The proof is right there, no need to hide it. The only reason to hide it is that you don’t want other people to know the truth about your relationship and how bad it really is.
Isn’t that proof right there that there is something dysfunctional going on? I am not saying you have to immediately end your relationship this second (although some of you should). I am saying you need to deal with the truth about your relationship and the one you love. You have been basing your relationship on excuses, and that is clearly not working, so it is time for a change.
No one should have to cheat on you numerous times, and for numerous years, for you not to acknowledge it and accept the fact they are a cheater. Stop thinking they may stop cheating one day, just due to the fact that you hung in there all this time. Where’s the proof that will happen? No where. But there is proof they WONT. Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. Need more proof?
Have your excuses led to the changes you thought were going to occur? No? Of course not. You have proof the man or woman in your life treats you like shit, because you are there. You have seen it for yourself, heard it for yourself, and felt like shit. Facts are facts. But your “love” for this person, not proof, leads you to believe one day they are going to realize the error of their ways and turn into a walking Hallmark card? What kind of Lifetime Television for Women movie script is this? The fact is that the person you love is not a nice person. Need proof? Nice people don’t treat people like shit. Just saying.
So ask yourself how much proof do you really need to begin dealing with your relationship realistically? Haven’t you been sad, frustrated, angry, and felt bad about yourself enough? Must you keep testing your theory that things will get better if you wait it out? The only thing you keep doing by testing your theory is you wind up proving the opposite.
We also invite you to read our companion article: Once an Asshole, Always an Asshole