Love Life Coaching

I Can’t Believe He Did That to Me!

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After reading several emails from women that contained the phrase “I can’t believe he did that” I felt it was time to address that phrase. Reading the emails from these ladies showed that they clearly did most of the work in the relationship, and that the man that they were in love with didn’t do shit. Quite often women believe that if they treat a man better than anyone else has, he will stay. Oh how wrong that is.

If you can’t believe he broke up with you, it’s time to make a believer out of you. Sure, you treated him great and may have given him no good reason to break up with you but he did it anyway. Yes, it can be shocking and undeserving, but he did it. Some men can have a good reason, a stupid one, or no reason at all to break up with you. It’s not fair, but it is the truth.

Yes, he may have spent countless hours, days, months or years telling you how much he loved you. But now he says he no longer does and you cannot believe it. Believe that at one time he did love you, but accept the fact that he no longer does. His past feelings no longer count or matter.

I Can't Believe He Did That!

I Can’t Believe He Did That to Me!

He may have told you he would never cheat on you. Now you can’t believe he did the very thing he swore he never would. Is anyone going to tell you up front “Hey, as soon as you turn your back I am going to cheat on you”? No. Cheaters LIE. It’s not right that he lied, but you have to accept he is a liar.

When many relationships end, there is a strong sense of disbelief that someone no longer loves you or wants to be with you anymore. After all you have been through, all the things they said, promises they made, how great you were to them you can’t believe they have left you. You can’t believe they no longer love you when they made such effort back then to prove to you that they did. When it comes to past relationships, you keep yourself from getting closure by not accepting that was then, and this is now.

No one can take away what you had, and you can still believe it was real. The sad thing is that what you have now, is your present reality. You have to believe that it is over, and that things have changed. In order to let go, move on, get closure, and heal you have to believe in what the future holds, and not let the past hold you back.


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Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.


  1. deana

    June 30, 2015 at 9:55 pm

    Hi. I too am completely shocked. I let my boyfriend move in with me when he lost his house. He didnt ask if he could. My dad had just died and i was alone in the house that i grew up in. And very sad. I wish id been strong enough to say no. By not doing that, i created a situation where he continued to lose respect for me. We spent 4 years together. Doing everything he wanted, so i wouldn’t lose him. I lost myself. Hes 54 and drinks and behaves like a 20year old. He used a disagreement to move out and into his daughter’s newly available apartment. Doesn’t want me around anymore.. My heart hurts and i am very angry. So why do i cry and Why do i still love him.? Its been 3 weeks. I am barely surviving

    • Sarah Adelle

      June 30, 2015 at 10:03 pm

      You have to break the cycle. You spent so much time holding onto a loser and someone not worthy of you. He did you a favor by leaving, and I hope at some point soon you can see that. You deserve better, and now that he is gone you have the chance to find someone better. From what you described you couldn’t have really been happy in that relationship. You have time now to find yourself again and be strong.

  2. Lori

    April 18, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    Yes, I was in this same position. With everything he did and said in the beginning, it was hard to believe he would do and say some of the things he did at the end. After I believed he was capable of such things, it was much easier to let go.

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