Insecurity and How it Affects Your Relationship: Part 2

We have covered insecurities coming from past relationships in a previous posting, but what if your current relationship is the cause of insecurity? What if your new boyfriend is warm, caring, expressive and loving but then out of nowhere becomes quiet, sullen and distant? You may find yourself questioning why he suddenly changed, and asking yourself if it was something you did or said. It just makes it worse if he won’t tell you and has no explanation for it. If he continues the pattern of being Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde you will always be insecure because his behavior is not allowing you to feel secure.

 You may wonder if he is losing interest, if there is another person in the picture, and so on. His behavior is making you insecure about yourself. If he won’t explain why is he behaving differently and you feel the need to play detective, fine. If you find something out, deal with it. If you don’t, you still have to deal with the fact that you are in a relationship with a man who chooses to behave in ways that make you insecure. Are you fine with that? One would hope not.
insecurity in relationships

Insecurity and How it Affects Your Relationship: Part 2

When he acts and says things that makes you feel he cares or loves you, but other times it is the exact opposite, you are always left feeling uncertain. The first thing you must do is stop worrying about what you may have done, or may have said. There is no reason to blame yourself, because it is not your fault. You must also stop trying to come up with ideas to make him stop running hot and cold. Don’t always make his moods “all about you”. Try doing what he is doing when he acts like that. Don’t shower him with love and affection when he is being cold. Why would you reward that? Only because you are insecure. A confident woman wouldn’t do that. She would give back exactly what he is dishing out to see how he likes it.

The next thing you need to ask yourself is why are you letting this continue? Shouldn’t you be with someone who makes you secure? Why would you want to be with someone whose behavior and mood is so inconsistent? Why are you allowing this person to get away with this, and why are you not running away from him? Shouldn’t he, if he has a brain, know that in time you will get sick of this? Well, that time has come. No one is really happy in a relationship where you walk on eggshells around someone and have to wonder constantly what kind of mood he is going to be in. So forget about his feelings and his mood. Hasn’t he put you in enough bad moods? Flip Flops are for your feet, not emotions. It’s time to let someone else deal with his inconsistent personality and find someone more stable to have a secure relationship with, rather than an insecure one.

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Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio. 


  1 comment for “Insecurity and How it Affects Your Relationship: Part 2

  1. Yeah, my ex’s insecurities drove me nuts. No matter what I did, he was never secure. I couldn’t take it anymore and left him

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