We have covered insecurities coming from past relationships in a previous posting, but what if your current relationship is the cause of insecurity? What if your new boyfriend is warm, caring, expressive and loving but then out of nowhere becomes quiet, sullen and distant? You may find yourself questioning why he suddenly changed, and asking yourself if it was something you did or said. It just makes it worse if he won’t tell you and has no explanation for it. If he continues the pattern of being Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde you will always be insecure because his behavior is not allowing you to feel secure.
When he acts and says things that makes you feel he cares or loves you, but other times it is the exact opposite, you are always left feeling uncertain. The first thing you must do is stop worrying about what you may have done, or may have said. There is no reason to blame yourself, because it is not your fault. You must also stop trying to come up with ideas to make him stop running hot and cold. Don’t always make his moods “all about you”. Try doing what he is doing when he acts like that. Don’t shower him with love and affection when he is being cold. Why would you reward that? Only because you are insecure. A confident woman wouldn’t do that. She would give back exactly what he is dishing out to see how he likes it.
The next thing you need to ask yourself is why are you letting this continue? Shouldn’t you be with someone who makes you secure? Why would you want to be with someone whose behavior and mood is so inconsistent? Why are you allowing this person to get away with this, and why are you not running away from him? Shouldn’t he, if he has a brain, know that in time you will get sick of this? Well, that time has come. No one is really happy in a relationship where you walk on eggshells around someone and have to wonder constantly what kind of mood he is going to be in. So forget about his feelings and his mood. Hasn’t he put you in enough bad moods? Flip Flops are for your feet, not emotions. It’s time to let someone else deal with his inconsistent personality and find someone more stable to have a secure relationship with, rather than an insecure one.
Copyright 2009-2014 All rights reserved. Written permission is required from the author to post on your site or be used in any way, shape, or form. If you quote an article please credit and supply a link to our original posting. While many people seem to be under the impression that we should be flattered that you use our work, we are not, plagiarism is plagiarism, and we do not find stealing our work and our ideas flattering at all and you will be prosecuted under the law.