Love Life Coaching

Is the One You Love Emotionally Immature?

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Is the one you love emotionally immature? We can all be a bit immature or childish at times, and that is fine. It becomes a problem when your partner is emotionally immature when dealing with the adult issues in your life. The first few months of a relationship are almost always great. It isn’t until real issues pop up that the reality of who they really are is exposed. It comes as quite the shock to many people who didn’t see it coming.

Keep in mind that until someone’s emotional maturity is tested, you can’t really know how emotionally mature they are. It is hard to have an adult relationship with someone who is emotionally immature. It’s easy to label people, but it is not always warranted.

Signs of Someone who is Emotionally Immature

1. If the one you love seems to attract one lost cause after another, this could be a warning sign that they are emotionally immature. Rather than focus on themselves and their issues, they find it easier to rescue, or attempt to rescue, someone they can be a hero to. The spotlight is always on the other person’s problems never their own.

2. If the one you love is selfish and self-centered sexually, this can be an indication of being emotionally immature. If you are not satisfied, there must be something wrong with you. It couldn’t be their fault, and it clearly isn’t their problem. Rather than being open to fulfilling your needs, if you mention the subject, they get either dismissive, blame you, or get angry.

3. Selective amnesia is another indication the one you love may be emotionally immature. The never forget the important events or plans they have or made. Only your important events or plans have been forgotten. They never forget a promise you made to them, but have amnesia when it comes to the promises they made to you. They have the memory of an elephant when it comes to anything wrong you have done or said. They will easily forget anything they have done or said wrong and will accuse you of making it up, lying or being crazy.

4. Someone who is emotionally immature doesn’t take serious things seriously. They can’t hold down a job even though they need one to pay their bills. They think quitting a job because it isn’t “fun”, or they don’t like it, is normal. You know you need to stay at the job you hate until you find another one. Emotionally immature people take a lot of risks that responsible people simply won’t take. Emotionally mature people know that we can’t always do what we want, and that sometimes we do what we need to until we can get what we want. An emotionally immature person doesn’t understand sacrifice, and that sometimes you have to put another persons needs before your own.

signs of emotionally immature relationships

Is the One You Love Emotionally Immature?

5. An emotionally immature person wants you to take care of them. They will ask you for favor after favor. Pick up their dry cleaning. Stop by the bank for them. Get their car detailed for them. Pick up their favorite snack on your way home. Run out to the store at 2 am. to get them medicine when they are sick. It is as if you are their personal assistant. But when you ask them for a favor, big or small? Prepare for the attitude. They don’t want to reciprocate. They want you to take care of them, and yourself, by yourself.

6. An emotionally immature person often cannot handle confrontation properly. There are people who don’t like confrontation, but that is not the same thing. If rather than talk to you about an issue head on, they hide from you for long periods of time, which then causes a confrontation about that and the original issue, and make things much worse. When a simple solution can be found but they cause a bigger problem, the one you love may be emotionally immature. Instead of avoiding the things that cause confrontation, they do them anyway, and then either avoid the subject, lie or avoid you.

7. Emotionally immature people often sabotage relationships. Rather than deal with their insecurities or fears they create problems and drama. They constantly have to test you and the relationship. Their fear of losing someone you love makes sense. The practice of doing things that risk losing the one you love in response to that fear is immature. It is also stupid. Sorry, but it is.

8. If the one you love is still broken-hearted by a lost love, they may be emotionally immature. If you repeatedly hear about the one who broke their heart so badly, you may be in for trouble. If they are emotionally immature they may be using that ex to make you jealous. They may also be creating a high standard that you can never achieve. They also may be over-glamorizing that relationship until it has no basis in reality. They can also be using it as an excuse not to commit fully to your relationship. In any case, this is a major red flag.

9. If the one you love never apologizes when they are wrong, or if they are never wrong in the first place, they are emotionally immature. Saying I’m sorry is the least someone can do when they are wrong, and can be the first step towards forgiveness. Emotionally immature expect an apology from anyone and everyone that has done wrong to them. But when it comes to them, they simply will not apologize. They will point out repeatedly what you have done wrong, but will never admit to any wrong doing.

10. If the one you love is emotionally immature, they can be very co-dependent. They may be looking for an enabler to their bad behaviors. They may be in relationships simply for financial reasons. Loving relationships should center around love, respect, and compatibility. Emotionally immature people chose relationships for the wrong reasons, such as needing a place to live, fear of being alone, sex, or financial security.

Adult relationships are almost impossible if the one you love is emotionally immature. All relationships have a degree of difficulty, but those with emotionally immature partners are especially difficult. Don’t expect the passage of time to mature them. Something needs to be done before you are at your wit’s end.

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

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