Is your ex back with his ex? Were you hoping he would get back with you instead? Did he end your relationship to get back with his ex? Either way, that really sucks, but before you start focusing on the wrong things, you need to learn something from his stupidity.
Let’s say he told you how crappy his relationship was with his ex yet now they are back together. Before you fantasize about the power she has over him or the love he has for her take a reality break. He wasn’t lying to you about how bad their relationship was. He just forgot to tell you he obviously has serious issues. It’s not about her, it’s about him. He either likes to sabotage relationships (like he did yours) or actually wants a dysfunctional relationship rather than a normal one.
Someone is creating all the dysfunctional relationships out there, so someone has to want them, right? He could be one of those people. You could simply be too normal and sane for a guy like him. So don’t make it about you and her. It’s him with the problem. And if he comes back to you, he is bringing that problem with him when he returns.
You may be sitting around miserable wondering how long it will last between he and his ex. Who cares? If you do, you need to prepare yourself if it ends between them and the idiot comes running back to you. Don’t focus on the romance and the joy you will feel to get him back. Focus on the fact that if your best case scenario does come true you have a real mess on your hands.
What kind of person goes from her to you to her and then back to you? Do you see the insanity of that? There are billions of people in the world but he keeps going back and forth between you two? That is a red flag you need to pay attention to and deal with. Recognize it for the pattern it is. Recognize the fact that he can’t stand to be alone. Accept that he won’t deal with a relationship like an adult. He would rather end it and try again with his ex at the first sign of trouble. Think, for a minute, that this could be a sign he has commitment issues. This could be his way of constantly stringing his ex, as well as you, along without a chance at settling down for good with either of you. Think long and hard about all that before you take him back if he returns.
It could be that his relationship with you was a rebound relationship. There may not have been enough time for him to get over his ex, and he may need to give it another chance before he can get closure. He may have truly believed he was over his ex and came to realize he wasn’t. That doesn’t mean he didn’t care for you. It just means he had not gotten her out of his system. He was not as emotionally available to you as he could have been if he gave it more time.
Whatever the reason, your ex is back with his ex. You have to live your life, and let them live theirs. Instead of wondering about the two of them, take care of yourself. If he comes back, be prepared. See him for what he is and what he did. Learn from what he did, even if he didn’t. Have your eyes wide open and take the rose-colored glasses off. And if he doesn’t come back, find someone a hell of a lot better than him.
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