A complicated relationship is a dysfunctional relationship. Have you ever asked someone about their relationship and all they can respond with is “It’s complicated”? Have you ever seen someone list their relationship status as “It’s complicated”? I guess saying it is complicated sounds better than saying it is dysfunctional, but the truth is the truth. The simple, UN-complicated fact is, your relationship most likely should end, and you should know it.
All relationships are complex, but quite often we make them more complicated than they really are.
Occom’s razor is a line of reasoning that the simplest answer is most likely the correct one. This line of reasoning is used by police to solve crimes, doctors to diagnose illnesses, etc. It would be great if people used this same line of reasoning to simplify their relationships, instead of making them more complicated. Let’s looks at some scenarios for complicated relationships and cut through the bull*hit once and for all:
1. If you are married but in the process of getting a divorce, just put divorced instead of the dramatic label of “its complicated”. If anyone really needs to know the details, they already know, or you can tell them personally. People that are working on their marriage, or trying to save it, should simply put married. No need to go into details. Your marriage is dysfunctional, plain and simple.
2. If you change your Facebook status to “It’s Complicated” every time you and your boyfriend have a fight or are having issues, you need to grow the hell up and stop seeking attention. It isn’t complicated, you two either need to break up for good and stop being attention seeking whores, or grow up and work on your relationship like a mature adult. It is not complicated, it is dysfunctional.
3. If you have recently broke up with an ex, you are SINGLE. It doesn’t matter if you are still hung up on them, want to get back with them or still love them. It is over, and you are single. If someone wants to date you or expresses an interest in you, just tell them you are not ready to date at the moment. See how simple that is? Not complicated at all.
4. If your relationship ended but you are still sleeping together, again, it is not complicated, you are friends with benefits or a booty call, but still SINGLE. If you only see him for sex but he never takes you anywhere, you are friends with benefits or a booty call. It is not complicated, you are simply being used for sex and refuse to accept it.
5. If you are cheating, or involved in an affair with someone who is already in a relationship, THEY are in a relationship and YOU are having an affair. You, at best, are in a dysfunctional relationship, but it really is not complicated. You are involved in an affair, plain and simple.
6. If someone describes their relationship as “it’s complicated” while at the same time pursuing you they just want to cheat with you. They are not looking to commit to you, or end their relationship for you. They are in a dysfunctional relationship or just like to have more than one dysfunctional relationship at a time. You should be asking yourself why you are even dealing with someone who is not single, and cannot even give you a simple answer to the status of their relationship.
7. If you are in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable, it may seem complicated but it is not. The simple solution is to run for the hills because he will always be emotionally unavailable to you and this is a dead-end relationship and a dysfunctional one to boot.
8. If you are in a long distance relationship with someone you have never met and when you do meet it is pretty much for sex and to hang out here and there, it is not complicated at all. You are a long distance booty call, or in an imaginary relationship that really does not exist. If the person does not want to spend time with you in person, then the simple fact is you are wasting your time on a relationship you hope to make real, but is just a fantasy. You also have no real clue if he has someone else in his life, but chances are that he does. Also, anyone that wants a real relationship, wants to meet. Those that don’t, don’t. Simple as that.
9. If your relationship status changes constantly because you are always going on and off, this is not complicated either. You are in an on/off relationship which is one of the most dysfunctional of all. Your relationship cannot and will not grow, and you will continue to break up and get back together over and over again. The simple solution? Break up. Period. Don’t get back together until something major changes.
10. If you are in a relationship that has run its course and want someone new but have not ended your relationship yet, it is not complicated. You are waiting for someone new to come in to give you the strength, balls, or security to leave. So simplify and end your relationship instead of starting a rebound relationship that will ultimately fail.
So many people use the term “it is complicated” to describe their relationship. If you ask a man if he is in a relationship and he says said “it’s complicated” that is your big red flag letting you know you sure as hell don’t want to get involved with him, that’s for sure. Unless, of course, you are complicated/dysfunctional as well.
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