What have you been learning from past relationships? All past relationships in our lives are actually designed to teach us something so that we don’t take that behavior into future relationships. When we go to school we are supposed to learn our lessons, take our tests to advance to the next level and finally graduate. Only if we pass our classes and learn what we need to will we get the degree we need to move on to our next phase in life. If we continually don’t learn our lessons, we won’t pass the tests, and we will never graduate. The same goes for relationships. We need to learn from out past relationships, or we will wind up screwing up our future relationships.
Have you learned the lessons you needed to pass your relationship tests? Are all your relationships teaching you the same lessons over and over but you continue to fail? Well it is no wonder they fail if you haven’t learned a thing! You will constantly repeat the same lessons over and over until the lessons are learned. You will be faced with the same tests and failures in your relationships over and over and over until you stop giving the wrong answers!
Would you expect to pass a test in school if you kept giving the same answers over and over from tests you already failed? Of course you wouldn’t. Then why are you wondering why you keep failing at relationships and why the same situations keep happening in your relationships? It’s because you didn’t learn from your past relationships! You didn’t take a hard enough look at why they failed and study what you did wrong. You didn’t find the right answers, you just keep using the wrong ones.
If your relationships are stuck at a ninth grade level can you really wonder why you cant graduate and be in an adult healthy relationship? You haven’t even passed the ninth grade level much less the “senior year”! No one wants to be “left back” to repeat a grade. Your friends are all moving on to higher levels, having different experiences from you and seem to be achieving what you cannot. You feel like you are too old to be at this level and want to be on a level that matches your age. You can bitch, whine, moan and complain about how much it sucks and how unfair it is that you aren’t getting good enough grades but it’s your fault for not learning the lessons.
With your relationships you cant bitch whine or moan either, you didn’t pass the tests put before you. The subjects we learn in school give us the skills we need to get a job, go to college, and take care of ourselves. Not every relationship we are in is supposed to work out, some of them are meant to fail so we can learn some valuable lessons and relationships skills. The problem is that many women are stubborn, and see a relationship as a failure if it ends.
The truth of the matter is that a relationship is only a failure if you didn’t learn what you needed to from it. If you stay in a miserable unhealthy relationship and refuse to learn and keep using the wrong relationship skills it is indeed a failure until it ends. Even then, if it does end only for you to get involved in a similar relationship with the same tests and fail them instead of using what you should have learned, you are never going to get to the next level. It is no co-incidence that the same women find themselves with the same relationship struggles over and over again. They are meant to teach you something, and until you learn it, you won’t have the skills to maintain the relationship you so crave.
Relationship skills are not taught in school. We learn about relationships from our parents, other family members, peers, books, TV and movies. The problem with that as well is that not every thing we learn from those influences is right for us either. Our own experience in our relationships is where we put these skills to the test and find out what is right and what is wrong. It is a learning process, and without learning from it, we get no where. In school, if we are having a tough time learning a particular subject we can seek help. We can get extra help from the teacher after school or get a tutor. If you are having a recurring problem with your relationships and you can’t find the right answer don’t use that as excuse to keep failing. Seek help. Find a counselor, search for some books, go to a seminar, just do something to help your self succeed instead of fail.
In the end, it doesn’t matter how long it took us to get the degree and graduate, it is the fact that we got the degree that really matters, doesn’t it? So it took you longer than others, so what? As long as you learn your lessons now and don’t repeat them in the future you are well on your way to getting the relationship that you want.
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