If you find you are losing yourself in your relationship, it’s time to find yourself again. Did you go into your relationship with strength, dignity, self-respect and the ability to draw and enforce healthy relationship boundaries? Have you, over time, become a person that is the complete opposite of who you used to be? Do you put up with things in your current relationship that you never would have in your past? Have you made your partner so much of a priority that you are losing yourself in your relationship?
When you step over a line in the course of your relationship, losing yourself in the relationship will cause you to risk losing the relationship in the process. The person you were is the person your partner was attracted to. That is the person they were interested in. The person you have become is not nearly as attractive anymore. You changed too much and not for the better.
Think about it, if you don’t like who you have become, how can you think your partner does? Losing yourself in your relationship causes your partner to lose feelings or respect for you as well. If you have lost your self-respect because of your words or actions in your behavior, chances are you loved one has lost respect for you as well. Why on earth would you contribute to this happening?
If you want your relationship to continue, you have to be a priority in it, not an afterthought. A relationship contains more than one person, and if your relationship only revolves around one person, it can’t be healthy, and both parties cannot be healthy. So, the time has come for you to find yourself again, and quickly.
If you have lost yourself how do you find yourself again? The first step would be to look back at all the behaviors, actions and words you put forth in your relationship. Which ones seem the most unlike the old you? Which ones make you cringe, make you ashamed or embarrassed? Once you have identified them go back to the time when you did or said those things. What were you feeling at the time?
More than likely, you were feeling fear and insecurity. You acted on those emotions, and over time have taken on the actions and words of a fearful, insecure person. Eventually you may have even become an afraid, insecure person. It is time to come from a different place.
Instead of being afraid of what will happen if you stand up for yourself and speak your truth, think instead about what will happen if you don’t. You tried being a different person which is what caused the losing yourself to your relationship in the first place. Is it having a positive effect on your partner? No. Is it having a positive effect on you? No. So can you stop trying to be someone you are not and just be yourself instead? That would be the common sense choice, wouldn’t it?
It is time to take control of your own self-esteem,dignity and self-respect. It is time you find your voice again. Go back in time and remember who you used to be before this relationship wore you down. You are still that same person, they are still within you. So go find them, and embrace them. Bring the old you back into your relationship, and feel good about yourself and change your relationship for the better.