Making The First Move ~ Who Should Do It?

Who should really make the first move? When you first encounter or meet someone you feel an attraction to you may not know what he is thinking about you. Does he like you? Does he think you are pretty? Does he find you attractive? Does he like your laugh? You don’t know because….

He seems like he likes you….but he might be too shy to make the first move.
He flirts with you……but he may be intimidated by you.
You get along great but nothing has happened…maybe he is afraid of getting hurt.
He seems so comfortable with you, and you can talk about everything but he hasn’t told you how he feels…..maybe he is afraid to express his feelings to you.

These are the excuses/reasons women find/make up/justify to make the first move.
Really? Seriously? Are you kidding?

Making The First Move

Making The First Move: Who Should Do It?

Let’s take the first one. He seems to like you. Key word : seemsYou don’t know. He could like you as a friend, he could find you attractive but has a woman in his life already. He may like you somewhat, but not enough to date. How can you find out? Easy. By what he does.

IF he really likes you, and is free to date you, he will ask you. You worried he won’t have the courage? To ask you out is not like swimming in shark-infested waters. You want a man who is afraid to ask you out? What kind of wuss is he? What kind of excuse is this? If your father was Mike Tyson, maybe a little fear might make sense. But if he really likes you, he can do something as simple as ask you out.

Next, let’s go with the “intimidated by you” excuse. If he is intimidated by you, that intimidation isn’t going to go away simply because you made the first move. It is going to be an issue in any relationship you have with him! Until he gets over the fact that you intimidate him, you shouldn’t date him. When will you know? When he asks you out.

How about “Maybe he is afraid of getting hurt”? Gee, get to the back of the bus. No one wants to be hurt. And how much can you hurt him by saying “No”. You shouldn’t be able to devastate him by not agreeing to go out with him, so asking you out should be NO BIG WHOO. And he is asking you on a date, not asking you to marry him.

The last is about expressing his feelings. The bottom line is you want to know his feelings NOW, and since he won’t say them you are getting impatient. You believe if you tell him your feelings then he has to then tell you his. Did you ever think he would lie to you since you put him on the spot? Do you think he may feel uncomfortable discussing feelings that he obviously is not ready to discuss? Why push the envelope?

If you let a guy make the first move then you know how he feels, you know what he wants, and know what he is ready for. Let him be the man, and stop trying to do what should come easily to him if he really does like you. It is just a matter of time if he does.


Copyright 2009-2014 All rights reserved. Written permission is required from the author to post on your site or be used in any way, shape, or form. If you quote an article please credit and supply a link to our original posting. While many people seem to be under the impression that we should be flattered that you use our work, we are not, plagiarism is plagiarism, and we do not find stealing our work and our ideas flattering at all and you will be prosecuted under the law.

Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio. 


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.