It is realistic to say that men need training, just like your pets do. If you got a puppy or a kitten (or whatever baby animal you chose for a pet) you would be so excited. You would be so delighted with your new friend, and imagine the wonderful long-lasting the bond the two of you will share. You are so enamored with your new pet, how adorable they are, the cute silly things they do that make you laugh out loud. Well what about when that same pet gets older? Are they less cute? Sure, they aren’t tiny anymore. The things they did as a baby (such as not being house-trained or chewing on furniture) you no longer excuse now that they are adults.
You begin your relationship with your pet knowing you are responsible for teaching it the rules of the house and what you will and won’t tolerate. You schedule their feedings, walks, teaching them good behavior, and spend time together bonding. You put a lot of effort into this relationship, and in almost all cases, it pays off immensely. You have a bond like no other, and the love between the two of you is very strong.
What kind of relationship do you think you would have with your new pet if you expected your pet to train itself with zero input from you? Do you think they would stop peeing everywhere and making your home and belongings the urine capital of the world? Would your favorite cherished items all look like they came out of a shredder? Would people not want to come to your home because it smells like animal poop ? Would they feel afraid because your pet might bite them, scratch them, bark or hiss at them? Would you wonder why your pet became the bane of your existence? Of course not. You didn’t teach it properly, so it became unmanageable.
In your relationship with the man in your life, have you put in as much time and effort establishing rules and boundaries that you would with a new pet? Have you made the person you love aware of what you expect from them and what you will not tolerate in your home both vocally and through actions, such as punishment if necessary? Has your significant other experienced consequences when they screwed up royally? (Like you would send your pet outside if they had made a major boo-boo?)
Has your boyfriend/husband made all your friends and family feel unwelcome or afraid to be around them? Why would you tolerate behavior from a human that you wouldn’t tolerate from an animal? Shouldn’t we expect more from the humans in our life? Shouldn’t they be able to behave better and smarter than an animal due to intellect? If we feel humans are so much more evolved than animals and don’t’ feel we should HAVE to “train them” in any way, why do women tolerate disrespect from them?
When a man acts negatively, women use words for him like “dog”, “pig”, “snake”, and “beast”. Animals don’t do the things to women that men do! Your pet won’t cheat, lie, steal (ok maybe food if you leave it out) or any of those human behaviors, yet for some reason we call men animals when they misbehave. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? When your pet gets jealous, acts out, or does bad things when your back is turned, isn’t your pet acting like a human? We do not expect our pets to “guess” or figure out on their how they should behave around us and treat us. We get right to training them so our lives together are harmonious.
If our pet refuses to stop chewing on our furniture, won’t stop biting people, and other bad behaviors, people realizes this may not be the right pet for them and try and find them another home. Yet when it comes to men, women take forever, if ever, to realize the man they have in their lives is un trainable, and is not the right one for them. Why do women set the bar for the men in their lives so much lower than they would a hamster? (Or any other pet).
Your relationship with your pet works because you set rules and boundaries, and the reason your relationships with men do NOT work is because you forgot to set rules and boundaries and enforce them. Why are women not afraid to discipline their pet? Because they know their pet will still love them and won’t leave. Could it be that women won’t set and enforce rules and boundaries because they do not have the same faith that the men in their relationships wont leave them if they do? If you won’t put in the work in your relationships with humans the same way (with rules and boundaries) you would with a pet, is it any wonder why they don’t last or make you miserable?