So many people refuse to move on from a relationship. Why is it that people often refuse to give up on relationships, no matter how short, meaningless, dysfunctional, abusive (verbal or physical), unsatisfying and unhealthy and just move on with their lives? Why is it so hard to let go of something that made you so unhappy when you had it? The reality is, that the relationship was terrible, no matter what potential you think it may have had. Even if you loved this person who was so unloveable because they treated you so badly, shouldn’t you take that precious gift of your love and give it to someone who wants it and will appreciate it? Why hang on to the few good memories you may have instead of acknowledging that for the most part, the relationship was bad, and that you now have a chance to do better?
I know a woman who has been with a man for less than 5 months. The first month or so they were like school kids, couldn’t keep their hands off each other, had everything was great. But within that five months he has changed, and now expects her to help him out financially, baby sit his toddler while he does other things, and drop everything and help him whenever he is in crisis. He also requires her full attention whenever he wants it, and wants her let him get away with every melodramatic episode he has. If she doesn’t do all he expects, he pulls away and gives her the cold shoulder.
He recently broke up with her and she is in tears. I asked her why because Lord knows I couldn’t come up with an answer. She said she loves him. In 5 months, 3 of which have really sucked and she says she loves him? What guy does she love? The guy she thought he was before she really got to know him? Has to be, because the real him made her miserable and angry all the time. Is there no man on planet earth other than this kind of loser to date? Are pickings really that slim that knowing this guy is a douche knowing how selfish and cold he is,she is willing to give him another shot? Another shot at WHAT? If this guy has already hurt you, and shown you intolerable behaviors so quickly,you want to give him the chance to hurt you more? What are the odds it would work and she would be happy? Zero, or close to it.
Why is it in almost every other area of a woman’s life she knows when to give up or quit except when it comes to relationships? Why cant women learn when THEY need to close the door and shut it for good? Closure comes in many forms, not just getting over a relationship, but realizing it is time to end one.
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