Your relationship, for whatever reason, is over. A chapter of your life has come to an end and it is time for move on and move forward to the next chapter. Sounds easy? Well, it’s not. It is very difficult for many people and they have no idea how to even begin the process of letting go and how start moving on. Here are some tips, help and advice to help you along the way so you can finally move on with your life.
First, keep in mind that the end result of all of this is to move on and gain closure and insight. It will not happen overnight, and that is o.k. Take it one day at a time and do the best you can. Don’t expect to feel better right away, because that is not realistic. Don’t allow people to tell you how long they think it should take you, or tell you should be over it when they decide you should. Give yourself a reasonable time frame, and work within it, but don’t allow it to go on too long either.
Allow yourself to the varied emotions you will go through, and express them. Write letters you never send, use family members as sounding boards, or talk to an empty room. Just GET THEM OUT. Punch a pillow if you have to. Release those emotions. You will bounce back and forth from sad, angry, and everything else in between. This is normal.
Your life may be going through changes that have come from the end of this relationship. Your finances may now be different, and instead of ignoring it, deal with it. Getting control of your life assists in the process of moving on because you feel empowered and in control of something. Before, you felt in control of nothing. Now, by taking control of what you can, you begin to feel differently. At first you will not want to do anything. But you cannot allow your entire life to fall apart. Force yourself to get your bills paid on time, go to work, and get some stability back in your life in order to help gain control over your emotions.
Spend time with people. The right people. People who know you well enough that if you don’t want to talk about it, they will keep their mouth shut, and if you do, will listen and be supportive. Do not allow your past relationship or partner to be the only thing you talk about. Set a boundary and stick to it.
Set aside time each day for some “you time”. Watch your favorite TV show, take a walk listening to your favorite music, have a hot bath, get a massage, do your nails, something that is “all about you”. During that time keep your mind clear and think of positive things as best you can. Right now you may believe nothing can make you smile, but keep trying and eventually they will make you smile and you will feel the joy again.
We talk more about Letting go and Moving on in the second part of this article
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