Love Life Coaching

Once an Asshole Always an Asshole

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If you are in a relationship with an asshole, unfortunately that is what he will be, because once an asshole, always an asshole. A friend of mine recently met a guy she thought had potential. On their first date, they had a wonderful dinner, drinks and conversation. There was chemistry, and she was on cloud nine, full of hope that maybe this was the start of something. Well, so far he has told her 3 times, while they were on the phone, that he would call her right back. Right back took approximately 5 -8 days each time.

He talked about seeing her soon and making arrangements to do things but then nothing came of it, and he never addressed it again as if he had amnesia. She had re-arranged her schedule to accommodate him, and the plans disappeared. So he pretty much stood her up and thought nothing about it – he never even mentioned it. Please tell me why she is entertaining the idea of seeing him again, much less speaking to him again?

What does he have to do at the beginning for you to dump his ass and thank God you dodged a bullet? I asked her that question and she is under the impression that if he falls for her he won’t do this so he could be a great guy. She thinks he will get better. Oh how wrong she is. Because he is already showing her he is an asshole, and once an asshole, always an asshole. 

once an asshole always an asshole

Once an Asshole Always an Asshole

I told her to start using the local prison pen pal dating service. She has as much chance of a convict reforming as this moron. The signs are all warning her of the danger ahead, but for some reason she cannot even see them. I kept telling her the universe is on her side here, doing her the favor of letting her see his true colors before she gets emotionally vested, yet she is clearly avoiding the major warning signals. She and I argued back and forth about whether there was a chance for this to work for them in the long run. She thinks he will change, and I told her that yeah, he will change, into a much bigger asshole than he is now.

You don’t need a crystal ball to see which one of us is going to be right in the future, do you? So why even BOTHER with this guy? Why give it the chance to get worse? Things usually go from bad to worse, don’t they?

In the beginning of a relationship and the dating phase we are on our BEST behavior..and this is the best he can do? Can you imagine the worst? She should be imagining the worst, as opposed to thinking how much better he is going to be. It is easy to see his potential for being a horrible boyfriend, he is clearly showing that in spades. How does she see the potential for good when nothing he is doing NOW would be considered good?

At the beginning of a relationship we are getting to know the person, to decide if this is someone is right for us, and to see if we are a good match. If one of your pet peeves is tardiness, why are you giving the perpetually late guy a shot? If one of your top needs in a relationship is to spend a lot of time with the man, they why are you giving the workaholic the time of day? If you want respect and he already disrespected you, why haven’t you given him the boot?

Stop wasting your time trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. Find a guy that fits the requirements you are looking. Once an asshole… always an just depends on the diameter.


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Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.


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  2. Melissa

    September 1, 2015 at 5:07 pm

    My favorite post on the site!

  3. Bonnie

    August 13, 2015 at 2:23 am

    Gotta admit you are right about this!

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