Red flags of unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships are obvious to those of us on the outside looking in. For those involved in unhealthy, toxic or dysfunctional relationship the red flags seem to be invisible. What red flags should you be looking out for? A healthy relationship brings out the best in us, and an unhealthy relationships brings out the worst in us. We have listed below several red flags that you should pay attention to if you see them in your relationship.
Red Flags of Unhealthy, Dysfunctional Relationships
1. When you give up your interests, hobbies, or the things that are good for you like going to the gym and eating healthy, this is a serious red flag. A relationship that is right for you would keep the right things in your life, not make them fall to the wayside. There is no good reason for anyone to give up the things that they enjoy (that are harmless) or that benefit them health wise for a relationship.
2. If either are you find yourself isolated from your friends and family due to a relationship that is another serious red flag. A new person should not have the power to wipe everyone else out of your life. It may seem complimentary that they want you all to themselves, but it is more about being controlling. No one that loves you needs to control you that way. You have the right to have relationships with friends and family just like everyone else. Common sense should tell you that if everyone in your life is having problem with your significant other, than it is more than likely it is your significant other that is the problem, not them.
3. Repeatedly lying is a huge red flag. With lies you cannot build trust. Without trust your relationship has no real foundation. No point in being there unless you want to lose your dignity and self-respect and waste your precious time.
4. Verbal, physical, emotional, or mental abuse is another important red flag. This will not be a one-off, it will be a repeated, and get worse and more abusive as time goes by. Get out right now, stop making excuses, and protect yourself from this bully immediately.
5. If your relationship is financially dependent, this is another red flag to pay attention to. You cannot buy love. You cannot pay someone to love you. You cannot pay someone to stay with you. You are wasting your time and money on someone who is using you for money, a place to stay, and what you can do for them. In some relationships one has to be the breadwinner, but in those relationships the non working spouse contributes in other ways. (And not insignificant ways either.)
6. If an addiction to sex, drugs, or alcohol is a present in your relationship then you need to step away, and fast. That may not be what you want to hear, but your relationship cannot possibly be healthy if one of you or both of you is in the throes of addiction. It simply is not possible. Step away from the relationship until that person gets help and is on their road of recovery. Otherwise, they will take you with them until they reach their rock bottom, and you do not need to go there.
7. If your relationship exists only in the bedroom, it is a red flag that your relationship is not going anywhere but the bedroom. You are being used for sex. You may be able to turn it around and make it something more by getting out of the bedroom and going out together on real dates. If not, they are using you only for sex, and you are wasting your time.
All red flags should be paid the attention they deserve. Whether it is your intuition telling you something isn’t right or doesn’t feel right, or blatant mistreatment, don’t just brush them off. Those red flags are warning signs of things to come, and can save you a lot of heartache and wasted time if you pay attention.