Relationship Compatibility: Are you Apples and Oranges?

Relationship compatibility can be a difficult thing especially if the two of you are like apples and oranges. Let’s talk about fruit salad for a moment. Fruit salad is a wonderful thing. It is a mixture of many tastes. Eating the same fruit over and over again gets boring.

Sometimes our differences can actually compliment the other. Lemon and lime go well together, don’t they? (Of course some fruits go together horribly as well.) We need to know if different “fruit” can mix together in relationships. Let’s say you like exercise and your man does not.

If your man likes to putter around the garage on Saturday afternoons fixing things and you can use that time to go to your yoga class that is fine. If on the other hand you want someone who likes to talk and express their feelings and the man you are with resembles a clam that is not fine, and is going to be a major bone of contention in your relationship. Differences are not always deal breakers, but we have to examine our differences to see if they are harmonious or not.

Are you an apple or an orange? If a man was to be seeking HIS choice, would he know what he was getting if he chose YOU? Are you an apple disguising yourself as an orange? Are you an orange who thinks you are an apple?

compatibility in relationships

Relationship Compatibility: Are You an Apple or an Orange?

Knowing yourself and who you are, having the courage to express your personality, feelings, opinions etc helps people to know if YOU are the right choice for them. If a man wants an orange and you are an apple, why would you want him to pick you? That makes no sense. You want someone to love you for who you are, not who you have to pretend to be. Wouldn’t you be pissed off if you went to the store to buy apples and got them home and found they were really oranges in disguise? Yes. Wouldn’t you want to toss those apples in the trash? Yes. Wouldn’t you feel tricked? Yes. Enough with the disguises. They have not done anyone any real good in the long run, so let’s stop testing that theory, ok?

Yes we are all on our best behavior in the beginning, but we should always be our true selves right from the start. If you know a man who likes outdoor activities and you don’t, don’t pretend to go enjoy what he does or be interested in what he likes. Don’t use used-car salesman tactics when selling yourself. Be honest just like you would want in return.
We may think we like apples better than oranges, but what if we really are not sure? What if we like apples only if they are in a pie for example, yet like oranges better for a juice drink? We may actually like them the same amount.  

In relationships we may think we want one thing but come to find out we really don’t like it all that much. If you want a man who makes a lot of money AND gives you a lot of attention you have to realize in many cases these are two DIFFERENT fruits. If a man makes a lot of money that may mean he WORKS constantly and doesn’t have a ton of time to lavish you with attention. You are supposed to pick one fruit, remember?
You want an apple AND an orange. That may be harder to find of course. So you then have to decide again WHICH you prefer….. less money, more attention or more money, less attention. Yes, we can have it all, and you don’t have to lower your standards, but what you may need to do is lower your expectations, in the sense that if you want this guy to be a fruit basket all by himself, it may take you a LONG TIME picking fruit before you find this guy. It is fine to have high standards, and we encourage that, but please remember to include a reality check along with those standards as well. If you don’t, you may find yourself frustrated, where you may then be tempted to lower those standards, which defeats the purpose entirely.

We all have preferences, things we like more than others. Do you like apples more than oranges or vice versa? Are you settling when you choose the one you don’t prefer? Yes, you are. If you are like most people and are craving an apple, an orange simply won’t do. You will be left feeling dissatisfied. The same goes with our relationships. If you are craving a relationship that has stability and commitment but are in one filled with drama and uncertainty, you will always hunger for what you really want. Who wants to live that way?

We want to satisfy our cravings not constantly and continually feel the yearning of them. People have told us to pay attention to what our body is craving, because most likely, that is what your body needs, what we crave from relationships is our way of knowing what will really make us happy and content. If what you have is not leaving you satisfied you need to first acknowledge it and then do something about it. It is time to choose an apple or an orange, and once you have, if you don’t like your choice, it is on you, because the decision was in your hands. Know the DIFFERENCE between an apple and an orange and which ONE you prefer.

You go to the grocery store and buy an apple and bring it home. You taste the apple and get mad because it doesn’t taste like an orange. Well then why did you BUY an apple? The same holds true with relationships and the people we get involved with. If you want a certain kind of person in your life, why are you letting the wrong people BE in your life? You can yell at an apple all day long and guess what? It still is not on orange.You can talk to the apple about how much you want it to be an orange. You can sit around and wait for the apple to change into an orange. Think it is going to work? NO!
Why go through ALL THIS when you could have just bought an orange in the FIRST PLACE? Relationships all involve work, but why not work at FINDING an ORANGE instead of working so hard to change an apple INTO an orange? Wouldn’t that make more sense? Less work? Better chance of a favorable outcome?
Sometimes all the work you do does not pay off in the end. Sure, I could go in my backyard and put in 10 thousand hours worth or hard work trying to build a space shuttle out of toothpicks and yarn but in the end I will have done nothing but waste my time. If we are going to put the work in, our energies should be more focused on the ones where our hard work will pay off.
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Sarah Adelle

Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio. 


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