Is your relationship meeting your expectations? Do you expect certain things from your relationship and find you are just not getting them? Some people’s expectations of what a relationship should give them may be set at an unrealistically high level.
You cannot expect your relationship to fix everything that is broken within you. That is your job, not the job of your relationship. You cannot expect things from a relationship that you are not willing to put into a relationship either. Your relationship should bring you happiness, and a feeling of security and make you feel loved.
However, you cannot expect your relationship to be the only source of happiness. You also cannot expect your relationship to provide you with a sense of security if you are risking the stability of that relationship by mistreating your partner. If you have insecurity issues that you brought as baggage into your relationship, it is your job to drop it and let go of it. You and your partner both have the right to expect proper treatment from one another,. You do not have the right to expect your partner to change everything about them and their life to become a completely different person.
If your expectations for a relationship include monogamy, why pursue a relationship with someone who does not want a monogamous relationship? You both want two different things, so your expectations will be different. You will expect them to commit to you at some point and they will expect you to understand that they already said they don’t want monogamy so you should not expect it from them.
If you pursue a relationship with someone who is not on the same page as you or doesn’t want the same things in life and in a relationship, one of you is not going to get your expectations met. So how can that be a good relationship for both partners if the relationship is not meeting their expectations of one of them? It can’t, and it won’t be a good relationship. (At least for one it won’t.)
If you get involved with someone who is in another relationship, Dating, married, whatever, don’t expect them to leave their other relationship. Some people don’t want to end relationships, they simply want to cheat. That is the reality of it for many people. So don’t assume that the longer you stay the closer they will get to leaving their other relationship to be with you. Also, keep your eyes wide open with them because it would make sense to expect if they can cheat with you, they can cheat on you. You think you are so special he wouldn’t cheat on you? Well, fifty bucks says his wife or girlfriend thinks she is special too.
A relationship should be meeting your expectations in very important ways. You should never stay stagnant in a relationship where you don’t feel loved, appreciated, or respected. If those important expectations are not being met, it is time to take drastic action or leave all together. Your relationship will only change for the better if you do better. And that does not mean doing more for them, it means doing more for yourself.
You want to be loved? Love yourself and you won’t let someone treat you any way but loving. If you respect yourself then others will too, and if they don’t you wouldn’t waste your time with them. If they don’t appreciate what you do for them, withdraw all that and put those energies, time, and money back into yourself.