Before investing your heart in a relationship, you need to make sure you do not choose and emotionally unavailable man. Here are some signs of an emotionally unavailable man so you can spot one quickly, before you are in too deep:
1. If he has a girlfriend or wife. If he has not divorced the wife and broken up with the girlfriend, he is emotionally unavailable to you. No ifs, ands or buts about it. If he is separated from his wife or broken-up with the girlfriend, but they still live together for ANY REASON AT ALL, he is emotionally unavailable and off-limits to your heart. He cannot give you 100% if he shares his life with another woman. So, a part of him will always be unavailable to you.
2. Communication – If he is hard to reach and disappears for days/weeks/months without warning (or explanation) then he is emotionally unavailable. If he wanted to get closer to you, he would keep your communication steady and reliable. You would talk about deeper things than sex, the weather and your jobs. He would use that communication to learn more about you and give you the chance to learn more about him. If trying to get him to talk is like pulling teeth, he is emotionally unavailable. If he is constantly unavailable when you call, text and email, the same rule applies. If the only way you communicate is through text, and are not under the age of 14, you both need to grow the F*CK up.
3. No labels, boundaries, or definitions. If you do not know if you are his girlfriend, or if he wants a girlfriend, or if he has a girlfriend, you have found yourself an emotionally unavailable man. If he does not want to talk about his feelings, where you fit into his life, where this relationship is going, if you are even in a relationship, then you need to run as fast as you can from this emotionally unavailable player/man.
4. Dependability – When you are with a man long enough, the relationship develops a pattern. You talk once/twice/three times a day, see each other every “X” amount of days, and know you will see and hear from them again. When you are with an emotionally unavailable man, after you hang up the phone, you have no idea when you will speak to each other again. After you part company, you wonder when and if you will see them again. This is not normal and is unacceptable. If you cannot begin to depend on him to call and make plans to see you, he is emotionally unavailable. If you cannot depend on him to answer the phone when you call with an emergency, he is not emotionally or physically available to you. He is doing this on purpose and you need to accept that, and ditch this Loser pronto.
We all want to do the best we can to not be shocked, disappointed or hurt in our relationships. The best insurance we have to prevent that from happening is to choose wisely, and the emotionally unavailable man is not a wise choice. Someone who is emotionally available will show you their emotions verbally and with action. Consistantly.
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